


Flip of a Coin

by mightbeababygay



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gangster!Ben, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mentions of Blood, alternative universe, descriptions of violence, sort of a peaky blinders au, the murderous boyfriends trope is alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21533269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mightbeababygay/pseuds/mightbeababygay
Summary: Starting this gang was never meant to be easy. It hadn't been. But, Ben had it under control, he'd built it up from the bottom from a young age. People knew, after five years, he was in charge. He wasn't to be messed with. It's just that one person didn't get the message and they're out for revenge. With a family, and a new love, to protect, Ben's faced with choices and challenges to overcome to keep everyone safe.
Relationships: Ben Mitchell & Lexi Mitchell, Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 42
Kudos: 157





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Can't believe I've finally started posting on this - I've been working on it for monthsss now bc I wanted most of it done before I started to post some - haven't decided on how often updates are yet, especially with all the other requests and Christmas ones I have planned but hopefully they'll be up every few days!
> 
> It'll probably be 6-8 chapters long depending on how much I want to happen, haven't decided yet but here we go!
> 
> This chapter was beta'd by the lovely @dingletragedy
> 
> Tumblr/Twitter @mightbeababygay let me know what you think!!

“What do ya mean it went wrong?” Ben asked, fingers scratching along the three-day old scruff on his face, cigarette lit between his fore and middle finger.

“Look, mate, it ain’t my fault. I got there, like you told me, the guy was there. Just...not conscious,” Tubbs explained down the phone. “I didn’t hang around to see if he was still breathing.”

“I ain’t here for an update on his life expectancy. Did you get the money, or not?” Ben demanded to know.

“That’s the thing...the money was gone.”

Ben frowned deeper, muttering a curse under his breath as he took a long drag from his cigarette, the nicotine doing nothing to calm him. Feet dropping off the desk as he leant forwards, Ben rested his head in his hand, massaging his temples. “Alright, alright. Leave it to me. You know what to do with the product, shift it. Same as usual.”

And with that, Ben hung up. He got to his feet, tucking his phone into his back pocket, flicking the cigarette into the ash tray. He reached down, entering the code for the top drawer with ease and taking out his gun, sliding it down the back of his jeans. Flinging the door of his ‘office’ open, he stomped his way down the stairs to the kitchen.

“The hell is your problem?” Jay asked as he stood from the couch, leaving Lola and Lexi to continue their movie in peace, stopping him on his way through to the kitchen. It was often the two of them spat like this, but they always kept business away from the young listening ears of Lexi. 

“My problem, Jay, is people keep messing with me,” Ben told him, tone firm with a hint of anger, not wanting to lash out with his baby girl in the room, as he turned to face Jay. “They think it’s okay, like I ain’t been in charge of this business for years now, like I ain’t got a clue what I’m doing - like I’m - I’m weak.”

“What are you talking about, Ben?” Jay frowned, resting his hand on his arm and ushering him into the kitchen, closing the door after them quietly. “Hey - talk to me. What happened?”

Ben sighed, scratching at his beard again as the stress continued to mount, leaning against the counter, legs and arms crossed defensively. “Someone is messing with me,” he explained cryptically, hand waving in the air. “We - I - had a deal set up with some guy. Tubbs was supposed to meet him with the drugs. He was gonna give me twenty-five grand for the products - *twenty-five bloody grand* - then he was then going to sell them on, get himself a bit of cash, y’know. Except, someone’s done - done something and now the gheeza’s lying dead in a fucking park.”

Jay let out a long drag of breath. “That’s - that’s a lot of money,” he muttered, mirroring Ben’s posture from the opposite side of the kitchen. Usually, these ‘deals’ of Ben’s weren’t this big, they never exceeded the ten grand mark, at least. That way it was less traceable.

“Was.” Ben interrupted him. “It *was* a lotta money.”

“Listen, mate, there could be a tonne of different reasons as to what’s happened, you know people round here, they see a dodgy looking guy in a park with a duffle bag and that’s enough of a reason to do, well, whatever. There’s a million reasons someone coulda’ done him in, probably nothing to do with you, don’t be so paranoid, yeah? And you’ve still got the drugs, right? It’ll work itself out. You’ve not lost out on anything, just gotta find the right people, haven’t ya?” Jay nodded his head at Ben, eyebrows raised high towards his hairline. “Mate, what is going on with you? You’re not usually this, well… tense.”

“Nothing,” Ben muttered, looking down at his feet. “I just - Lexi’s startin’ school soon, ain’t she?” 

Jay sighed softly as he studied Ben, it was clear the guy was taking this to heart, and Jay could see where he was coming from, of course he could, but Ben was known for his dramatics. The pair of them had been mates, *brothers*, for years now and he knew all about Ben’s insecurities about not being good enough of a father to Lexi. Clearly he had plans for this money, for Lexi, and not getting it, well that hurt him. Not only for being unable to spend it on Lexi but also having been double-crossed. 

“Ben…” Jay began, taking a step towards the younger man. “You’ve already built all this for her - this home, this family, this love - that money it’s not that big of a deal-,”

“Leave it, will ya?” Rolling his eyes, Ben stood up straight, grabbing his leather jacket off the back of the kitchen door. “It doesn’t matter because I know who did this. And I’m going to get that money. Don’t wait up, yeah.”

\--

Ben sat on the bench in the middle of The Square, elbows resting on the top of his knees as he watched people mulling around, everyone in their own little bubble, living their own lives and paying him no attention. Whilst it may have looked like he was just people watching, another cigarette in hand, in his head, he was making a plan. 

It wasn’t a short list of people who would want to mess with Ben and his family like this. There was someone lurking at every corner wanting to get a good punch in. But, Ben wasn’t an idiot. Unlike the previous gangs that used to rule Walford, who thought with their fists, Ben much preferred the scheming and planning. He had people to do the punching for him. 

And because Ben was the scheming little shit he was, he already had an inkling on who had done this. 

A lousy, low-life by the name of Stuart Highway.

Whilst Stuart was in no way a ‘gang rival’ to Ben, he was a massive pain in the arse. Even if he was only one man. Ben wasn’t scared of him, he wasn’t scared of no-one, in fact. Stuart was more of a frustrating thorn in every single one of Ben’s plans. 

A few months back, Stuart had stopped Ben in the street demanding drugs. Ben took one look at Stuart and kept on walking. Ever since then, Stuart showed his face everywhere Ben went and whilst he wasn’t demanding drugs anymore, he sure did have a lot of questions. 

Too many questions. 

Questions Ben would only answer with sarcasm and pettiness. Oh, and the occasional flirt purely to wind Stuart up. 

Stuart had made his feelings about Ben’s sexual orientation very clear, which, of course, made it all the more fun for Ben to wind him up.

In theory, Ben should’ve had this under control the moment Stuart turned up, asking Ben, and every damn person in his gang, for the drugs. There wasn’t a single person in the gang who truly knew what Stuart was like, the constant harassment. Ben wouldn’t ever tell them either. Keeping Stuart around, or even alive, would be perceived as weakness. And Ben Mitchell wasn’t weak. 

The gun dug uncomfortably into Ben’s back as he shifted on the park bench, a tell-tale sign of what he should probably do, if this mess turned out to be Stuart’s doing. A more permanent solution to the Stuart problem. There were times when he wanted to, like the remarks he’d made towards Ben when he found out he was gay, when he followed him one night to beat him up. The bubbling pit of fire in his stomach, the pure hatred that Ben felt towards Stuart made his hands shake. And that, yeah, that was enough to make him pull the trigger.

Except, Ben hadn’t ever done that before. He carried that gun around with him everywhere he went, from hook-ups to meetings, that gun was always on him. In his coat pocket, stuffed in his sock or down the back of his jeans, like now. It was more of a projection of who people saw him as rather than an actual reflection of who he was. People expected tough-guy, gang leader, unapproachable Ben Mitchell to walk around with a gun. It was who he’d become and that wouldn’t ever change. That’s why this would be his life, forever.

Ben looked up from his feet and across The Square, frowning as he saw Stuart walking down the market. He jumped up, pocketing his phone as he marched down the market, following after Stuart, arms swinging by his side.

“Oi!” Ben shouted out after Stuart, reaching out and grabbing his arm. He span Stuart around, dragging him down an alleyway and pinning him against the wall with a force that shook them both. 

“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Stuart exclaimed, looking down at Ben, fighting to push Ben off of him. 

“Where’s my money?” Ben demanded, pressing Stuart harder into the wall, grip tight on the lapels of his coat. 

“What the fuck are you taking about?” Stuart flinched slightly, his face portraying the blatant lie. 

“I ain’t stupid, you took what was mine, and now, you’re going to give it back.” Ben told him, his eyes flickering over his body as a sly smile spread across his lips. “I tell ya what, treat yourself to some new toothpaste, on me. God knows you could use it.” Ben added, scrunching up his nose in disgust, Ben pulled his face away from Stuart’s in exaggeration. “Then you’re giving me the rest back. I ain’t taking no for an answer.”

“I ain’t got no money.” Stuart shook his head, trying to shove Ben away. 

“9pm. You better be back here with my twenty-five grand in your sweaty, disgusting, palm.” Ben hissed into his face. With one last shove against the wall, Ben let him go, taking a step back. He didn’t wait for Stuart’s answer, nor did he care for it, and hastily turned to leave. But, he was grabbed by the wrist and turned round. Ben couldn’t even blink before he felt the impact of Stuart’s fist in his face. 

Ben stumbled back slightly, barely even flinching as the blood poured from his nose. He wiped at the place his face was throbbing with the back of his hand before stepping back into Stuart’s space, pulling his gun out and pressing it to Stuart’s forehead. 

“I’ll let ya off with that. But you listen, and you listen very carefully. I’m done with your shit, Highway. I shoulda killed you a long, long time ago. But, I felt sorry for you.” Ben spat, adding pressure to the barrel against his forehead. “You’re like a sad, lonely, dog. It’s about time someone put you down. My money. 9pm.”

And with that, Ben walked out of the alleyway.

\--

It didn’t take long for 9pm to roll around, the night bringing a chill to the square. Ben had spent the day in the park with Lexi, getting ice cream and deliberating on that dog that she’d been begging for the last week. Ben was most definitely not being persuaded.

(He definitely hadn’t already made plans to go look for one at the weekend as a surprise).

And now he was back in the alleyway, bag of greasy chips in hand, waiting for Stuart to show his ugly face. Secretly, Ben wished he didn’t turn up. His skin was itching with the need to punch the guy. Obviously, the less stressful this played out, the better, and Stuart turning up now, all his money in hand would be the best possible outcome. 

But that wasn’t going to happen. Ben knew people like Stuart, unfortunately, he wasn’t an idiot and whilst Stuart was many things, he wasn’t a coward. He would never be the type to just hand over that kind of money, instead he’d hide and face the consequences fist first.

Time passed, it could’ve been half an hour, probably an hour. Ben had given up time checking at the fifteen minute mark. He wasn’t a patient person at the best of times, Stuart should think himself lucky for how long he’d already waited. Kicking a small stone against the opposite wall, Ben sighed, pushing himself off the wall and stepping out of the alleyway.

“Been stood up, gorgeous?” 

Swivelling around, Ben dragged his eyes slowly up and down the man stood in front of him. The man was just taller than Ben himself, short blond hair, over-gelled. He was neither unattractive, nor attractive, not that Ben cared. Sleeping around was what he did, what he gained a reputation for. Playing up to his character was easy at this point, and flirting with this guy was just a part of that. 

“You offering?” Ben smirked, tongue swiping his bottom lip, slowly as he stepped closer to the man. “I’d love to stay and...chat,” Humming, Ben dragged his fingertip down the man’s chest over his button up. “But, I’ve got a small errand to run. Won’t take five minutes. How ‘bout you give me your number, ‘n I’ll text you my address, that way I won’t be in a rush, we can take our time.”

Smirking back at Ben, the stranger handed him his phone to get the stranger’s number. 

“I’ll see ya in a bit, then,” Ben patted the man on the chest, before walking away, hands stuffed in his chequered coat to keep them warm from the biting cold of the night. 

Ben marched his way over to Stuart’s house, letting out a small sigh as his phone began ringing his pocket just before he got there.

“What?” He demanded, slowing down his steps as he answered the phone to Jay. “Make it quick will ya? I’m already late.”

“Just making sure you ain’t doing nothing stupid.” Jay answered with a sigh.

“You know me, bro, I ain’t ever done anything stupid.”

“Ben…”

“It’s fine, Jay. I’m fine. Just gotta make a collection, then I’ll be home and you can tuck me in and kiss me goodnight.” Ben teased, small smirk spreading across his lips. 

“Shut up, Ben. Just don’t do anything stupid. Especially not by yourself.”

Ben could practically hear Jay’s eye roll through the phone but he didn’t take offence, not when he knew how much Jay cared for him, for their dysfunctional little family, the four of them. It was why Ben did all of this, for them. So Jay and Lola could be together, not having to worry about work and bills and food. And Lexi, well everything was for Lexi, always. So she never had to go without a single thing she wanted, whether it was the flashiest new toy, a hobby she wanted to chase for a week before binning it and finding a new one the following week. And, yes. That did include that puppy. 

It was all for them. And, yes, Ben knew he was a little shit who frustrated them all to no end, but the greater the distance between Ben’s work and family life, the better. The flirting with men, the teasing with everyone, well it made it easier. It stopped anyone getting too close, too invested. A quick fuck and chuck made it easier not only for Ben, but for all four of them.

The less questions, the better.

And besides, kindness is a weakness.

“I’ll call you if I need you,” Ben said, before letting out a loud kissing noise down the phone, similar to what he’d do with Lexi, before hanging up. He clocked the time on his phone then, over an hour and a half since Stuart was supposed to have handed over the money. 

Ben cleared his throat before putting his phone in his back pocket and marching over towards Stuart’s house. He banged on the door with his fist, once, twice, three times.

And then, a fourth, purely because he was a little shit. 

“Oh, Stuart!” He shouted out. “Wakey, wakey! You’re late for our date!” Ben couldn’t help the small smirk that spread across his lips. Secretly (a very, very, badly hidden secret), Ben loved this shit. Winding people up was his favourite hobby. 

The door swung open, much quicker than Ben had anticipated, to be fair. He was expecting this to play out for longer with it ending up with Ben having to break in. Luckily (but less fun), Stuart had decided to be a good boy. 

“Finally! I was beginning to think you’d stood me up.” Grinning cheekily, Ben looked Stuart up and down. “Gotta say, you coulda’ put some more effort in for our date.” Stuart stood in the doorway, beady eyes staring down at Ben. He was dressed in baggy, stained trousers with rips and holes here and there, a plain green t-shirt and a matching cardigan. 

“Shut it, will ya?” Stuart hissed, trying to step outside to talk to Ben.

“Now, now.” Ben hummed, not moving an inch. He knew his money was inside that house, and there was no way Ben was letting him shut the door. “You ain’t going to invite me in?” He pouted dramatically.

“I said to shut it!”

“What’s the matter, Stuart, darling? Usually-,”

“Stu?” An unfamiliar, male, voice called out. “Who is it?”

“Well, well, well.” Ben raised his eyebrows up at Stuart. “Who’s that then? The other guy? Can’t believe you stood me up for someone else.” He took a step closer towards the entrance of the house, only to be shoved back by Stuart.

“Come on, we can all share! There’s plenty of me to go around. Maybe even both at the same time, if you’re lucky,” Ben winked at Stuart, taking the moment of distraction to shove his way into the house, more forcefully than before and succeeding. 

“Listen…” Stuart began, grabbing Ben by the arm and spinning him around, the two of them now stood face to face in the entrance hallway. “I ain’t got time to deal with this now. Tomorrow, yeah? You can have it then. Just go.”

Raising his eyebrows slightly, Ben tilted his head to the side as he watched Stuart begin to sweat. He grabbed Stuart, pushing him up against the wall, arm across his neck to pin him there. 

“What is it you’re hiding, Stuart?” Ben hummed in his face. “Or shall I say...who?” He teased, head tilted to the side and a smirk playing out across his lips at this turn of events. Don’t get him wrong, Ben was still here for the money, but any dirt he could get on Stuart in the meantime would always be beneficial.

Besides, this was fun. 

“Who are you?”

Ben released his hold on Stuart at the new voice, spinning around with a wide grin on his face. He dragged his eyes up the man in front of him, starting at his feet to his thick things and up to his face. 

“Ben Mitchell.” Ben held his hand out for the man to shake. “Honestly, Stuart, I should give you more credit. I guess you do have good taste, in men at least.” He smirked, briefly looking over his shoulder at Stuart before putting his focus back on the attractive man in front of him. 

“Callum - uh - Callum Highway.”

Highway. 

Well, this just got a lot more interesting.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you sososo much for the response to the first chapter! Here's chapter two for you all - updates are every Wednesday and Saturday! 
> 
> Not Beta'd - all mistakes are my own!
> 
> I'm also on twitter or Tumblr @mightbebabygay let me know what you think!

“Let’s get this party started then, shall we?” Smirking widely, Ben plonked himself down on the armchair. He leaned forward and grabbed the packet of crisps from the table, shovelling a handful into his mouth as Stuart and Callum, the latter with a perplexed but cute expression on his face, followed him into the living room. 

“Stuart?” Callum prompted, still standing in the doorway. “You gonna tell me what’s going on?”

“Oh,” Ben turned his head towards Stuart, who was staring down at Ben in the centre of the room. “You haven’t told him about us?” He exaggerated a pout. “That hurts my feelings, Stuart, it really does.” Ben feigned, clutching at the fabric over his heart. 

“What?” Callum questioned, managing to sound even more confused than before. “What?” Repeating the word, he turned to face Stuart, looking between the two of them, waiting for answers.

“You see, Callum, your brother and I had a date. Except, he left me waiting. And I don’t like being ignored. So I thought, why not pop round an’ give him a visit.” Ben said, dusting the salt that had dropped from the crisps off his hands, before leaning forward in his seat. “You mind if I smoke?”

“A - a date?” Frowning, Callum smoothed down the front of his tie, something he did often when he was stressed. 

“No.” Stuart told Callum forcefully. “I ain’t like that.” The tone of disgust clear in his voice, he felt the need to explain, even though he was talking to his brother.

Ben smirked as he watched the two of them having their own private conversation by just staring. Stuart was clearly getting more and more frustrated by the turn of events and it wouldn’t be long before he exploded. 

Most definitely in Ben’s direction. 

“Alright, alright,” Ben interrupted, clearing his throat as he held his hand up in the air to stop the non-verbal argument that was clearly going on. Ben just couldn’t work out what the conversation was about. There was definitely something more going on here than Ben’s interruption. “Your brother here stole from me.”

“Leave it, Ben.” Stuart hissed, stepping across the room, leaning down in Ben’s personal space. “You leave him out of this. You don’t say a fucking word. Understand?”

Ben tilted his head up at Stuart, smirk dropping from his face. “I don’t think you quite understand, Highway. I’m the one in charge here. Not you. And certainly not your brother. So if I want to tell him what scum you are, I will. What you did to me and what you did to that nice chap in the park.” He told him steadily, rising to his feet to stand directly in front of Stuart. “Now, my money. Either you,” Ben pointed his finger at Stuart, “or your gorgeous brother over there, needs to get me it.”

And with that Ben got punched in the face for the second time that day. 

By the same guy.

“Stuart! What the hell is wrong with you?” Callum shouted, grabbing his brother’s arm to stop him from doing it again, wedging himself between Ben and Stuart in a futile effort to prevent the fight escalating. “If you took his money, just - just give it back!”

Ben groaned as he recovered, rubbing his hand at his jaw, opening and closing his mouth to stretch the pain out. He stood straight once more, pulling the gun out of the back of his jeans.

“You stay the fuck away from my brother, you understand? You don’t even look at him!” Stuart shouted, spit flying everywhere as he glared over at Ben. 

Ben rolled his eyes at Stuart before grabbing Callum by the waist, pressing the gun to the side of his head. 

“Money. Now.” Ben hissed at him. He watched as the colour drained from Stuart’s face at the new situation he was in. Callum, still and rigid, not daring to move an inch as he watched Stuart, a flicker of terror in his eyes.

“Stuart…” Callum whispered, not wanting to spook Ben. “Just go get the money, whatever he says. Please.” He gulped.

Ben smirked as he watched Stuart nod his head, eyes fixed on the gun pointed at Callum’s head, before scuffling off quickly, out of the room. Ben let out a small, quiet, sigh of relief that this had worked. He definitely wasn’t about to blow Callum’s brain out. The safety wasn’t even taken off the damn thing. Not that either of them needed to know that. 

Ben knew that he was being over-dramatic, pointing the gun at this innocent man’s head wasn’t right. But he was tired. Tired of all of it and he just wanted it over. This was the quickest way to make that happen.

Ben dropped the gun as soon as he had the opportunity, hiding it away in shame. He hated himself for what he’d just done. But, this was Ben Mitchell; The Gangster, here in this house, not just Ben. And so, he swallowed the lump in his throat, blinked away the sudden tears in his eyes and stepped away from Callum. 

“So, Callum, what brings you to Walford?” Ben asked nonchalantly, trying to distract the pair of them from what he’d just done. 

“Just visiting my brother.” Callum swiped his tongue over his bottom lip in nervousness, nodding his head slightly. He watched Ben warily, worried about what the younger man would do next. From watching him, Callum saw the hatred he felt for himself, for having done what he’d done. Probably for even more than this moment. 

Someone watching Ben wouldn’t have seen that moment, and Callum had almost forgiven him because of it. 

Raising his eyebrows, Ben nodded his head at Callum. “How exciting,” he grinned sarcastically. 

“Well… I wouldn’t say exciting, really. Stuart and I were just catching up, sharing news, y’know? Nothing big, ain’t that important,” Callum rambled.

“News, eh?” Curious to know more, Ben waved the hand with the gun around, gesturing for Callum to continue. “Do tell. I mean, I love being teased as much as the next guy, but I don’t suspect we’ve got that long. Shame that.” Smirking, Ben shamelessly dragged his eyes up and down Callum’s figure. 

Callum gulped harshly. “It’s - I - uh - nothing. Nothing important.” 

“Come on!” Ben teased. “What’s the matter, got your girlfriend pregnant?”

“No!” Callum protested, voice raised louder than necessary. “Opposite of that actually,” he explained, the beginning of a frown forming, shaking his head with disbelief - why was he even sharing this with Ben? A complete stranger, who’d just had a gun pointed at his temple. “You think, maybe, you could apologise for pointing the gun at my head now?” 

“The safety wasn’t even off. I wouldn’t have shot you. This carpet is far too nice to ruin with blood,” Ben teased, apologetic grin on his face. “So, the opposite of getting her preggers. Did she dump you?” Ben guessed. “Did you dump her? Did she run away? Gasp, don’t tell me you were cheatin’, no, no, you don’t seem like the kind. Was she cheating on you?” He rattled off, pouting up at Callum.

“I’m gay!” Callum exclaimed, rolling his eyes as he got more and more fed up with Ben’s antics. Even if he was a little bemused by the guy. 

Ben couldn’t help his eyes widening slightly. He definitely hadn’t been expecting that, still, he could barely help the grin that spread across his face. This was going to be so much fun.

“Well, this has been an interesting turn of events,” He pondered aloud, tucking the gun back down his jeans before taking his seat back onto the armchair, lighting a cigarette between his lips. 

Callum watched as he moved around the room, as if Ben was the one living here, not him. He couldn’t lie, it felt good to get it off his chest, to tell someone other than his (homophobic) brother. Not that Callum knew how Stuart felt, what with Ben knocking on the door and interrupting. 

“Is this your big coming out party then?” Ben asked, flicking the empty can of beer of the side of the table. “Gotta say, babe, it’s a bit disappointing.”

“Yeah… well, just drop it, will ya?”

Ben looked up, quite surprised at the sudden sharp tone in Callum’s voice. He frowned, stalking over to Callum, the tip of their shoes touching with just how much Ben was invading Callum’s personal space. 

“Listen,” Ben muttered, quietly and sincere. “Your brother, he ain’t the most.. welcoming bloke about. You doing okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Callum swallowed dismissively, unable to stop himself from looking down at Ben’s lips. “You, uh, sort of interrupted the whole thing.” Reluctantly dragging his eyes away from Ben’s mouth, he cleared his throat, small frown on his face. 

“I’m-,”

“Here.” Stuart slammed the living room door open, pushing the duffle bag into Ben’s chest, who grinned in reply, taking the bag and slinging it over his shoulder. 

“Well, boys, it’s been emotional.” Teasing, Ben looked over at Callum. “I’ll see you around, lover boy.” He winked, loving the flush that came across Callum’s cheeks. Ben paused for a moment, lost in just staring at Callum. Not only was he (unfairly) beautiful, he also intrigued Ben to no end. He wanted to know more. Wanted to know everything.

Except, Callum and Ben were on different ends of the spectrum. Ben would never be good for Callum, not with his lifestyle. Just from this first time of meeting, Ben could tell he was too good-hearted to be dragged down to the gutters where Ben was. 

Ben looked away, clearing his throat before turning around and walking out of the room, out the door and out of the Callum-like bubble he’d wrapped himself in, allowing him to just play pretend for one moment. Shaking his head to himself, he let out a deep breath. 

He didn’t go back home straight away, and nor did he text that guy he’d met earlier, but instead found himself in The Vic, drowning shot after shot until he stopped seeing Callum’s beautiful face every time he closed his eyes. 

\--

Ben let out a groan, arm flopping heavily over his eyes as the sun burned his retina’s. 

“Turn it off,” he grumbled, shuffling on to his side, freezing suddenly at the overwhelming sick feeling churning in his stomach. 

“Fuck,” Ben whined to himself, leaning over the edge of the sofa, waiting for the nausea to pass. 

“Daddy!” Lexi shouted as she thumped down the stairs, running over to Ben who couldn’t help but groan at the impact of her tiny body into his, currently fragile, frame. 

“Hey baby.” Ben replied, squinting his eyes open as he stroked a hand down Lexi’s long blonde hair, currently loose but neatly combed. Clearly that was Lola’s doing. Ben hadn’t exactly mastered the art of hair-doing just yet. 

“Can we go get breakfast, please?” She demanded, pouting up at her father. “Not your terrible breakfast, but real breakfast, like at nanna Kathy’s? With sausages and beans and hash browns and lots and lots of ketchup!” Raising a finger on her tiny hand for each thing she listed, Lexi continued to talk about the benefits of ‘real’ breakfast instead of the toast and jam Ben usually made her.

“Anyway, since when didn’t you like my breakfast, munchkin?” Teasing, Ben reached down to tickle at her sides, laughing as she began squirming around on top of him, her own giggles filling the living room with joyous sound. 

“Daddy, daddy! I do!” Lexi squirmed, jabbing Ben back with her little fingers into his ribs. “I just prefer real breakfast.” Laughing, she managed to wiggle her way out of Ben’s grip before running back towards the stairs. “I’ll get my shoes.”

Ben laughed to himself, shaking his head with fondness as he watched his daughter retreat. It was definitely clear whose daughter she was. Somehow, she’d turned out the perfect mix of himself and Lola.

Heaving himself up off of the sofa, Ben groaned, reaching out to steady himself as his hangover truly kicked in. At least a greasy fry-up would help. Slowly, Ben made his way up the staircase and into his bedroom.

He knew he didn’t have time for a shower, not with how adamant Lexi was to go, so he settled for pulling off his shirt and replacing it with a fresher-smelling, maroon t-shirt. 

“Ready!” Lexi grinned up at her father as she barged into his bedroom. 

“Have you got your coat, baby? It’s cold outside.” Ben asked, picking Lexi up and placing her on the end of his bed to help put her shoes on. She was a big girl now, as Ben had been told by Lexi herself, many times now, but she was still struggling with the laces.

They’d been practicing together, sometimes it ending up in tears and a tantrum, and even once with Ben being whacked with the shoe in question. 

“I’ll get our coats, daddy.” Lexi jumped down off the bed once Ben had finished with the laces and ran out of the room, excitedly.

“Careful!” Ben shouted after her as she ran, far too quickly, down the stairs. He quickly finished getting ready, brushing his teeth twice to get rid of his beer-infused hangover breath before meeting her downstairs where he was greeted by Lexi shoving his coat up at him. 

“Why, thank you, kind lady.” He smiled down at her, taking his coat off of her and sliding it on before helping Lexi into her own. Ben took her tiny hand in his and led them both out of the house towards the cafe. 

“So, daddy, about that puppy…”

\--

“Listen, I need to talk to you.”

Ben looked up from his phone, where he was scrolling through a list of puppies up for adoption, to see Stuart standing in front of him, hand gripped on the chair opposite him. Rolling his eyes, Ben dropped his phone on the table before gesturing with his hand for Stuart to sit in the seat Lexi had only just left. She’d been picked up by Lola and Jay, the three of them going into London for the day.

“Can’t stay away, can ya?” Ben smirked, finishing off the last mouthful of coffee from his mug.

“We need to talk.” Stuart repeated, voice low so those around wouldn’t hear.

“Spit out then.” Ben sighed, leaning back in his chair and picking his phone up to continue looking for a puppy for Lexi. After spending the last hour listening to all the different reasons why a puppy was a good idea (she’d even made a list), Ben knew the only way to squirm himself out of this one was to agree. 

“It’s about last night.”

“Listen, Stuart, you took my money, which was very naughty of you, but you gave it back, so maybe you do have some redeeming features.” Ben told him, like he hadn’t had a gun pressed to his brother’s head, eyes still focused on the phone screen. “ And yes, you’re officially a murderer now, but that isn’t my problem. If you’re here for advice on what to do or for the money back-.”

“It wasn’t me!” Stuart hissed, leaning closer across the table to Ben which made the younger man finally look up from his phone.

“Sounds like something a murderer would say, if you ask me.” Ben sniffed, putting his phone back in his pocket and standing up. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to find a puppy for my little girl.”

Stuart stood up quickly, the chair dragging across the tiles of the floor with the haste of it. 

“I’m not a murderer!” Stuart whispered angrily to Ben, poking him in the chest. “I found him there, in the park, with his face punched in. The bag was just sat there. I was walking through the park, I saw him and freaked out.”

“And you decided, oh don’t mind the dead guy, I’ll just take his money and leg it.” Ben raised his eyebrows at Stuart, knocking Stuart’s hand off of his chest. “Don’t touch me.”

“There were people coming, like I said, I freaked out. I just grabbed the bag and ran. I didn’t look in it, I just didn’t want to be seen. They’d take one look at me and think I’m guilty, which I ain’t. It wasn’t until I got home that I even thought to check in the bag.”

“So if you didn’t kill him, then what’s the problem? Just let it go and move on with your life.” Ben rolled his eyes before side-stepping Stuart and walking out of the cafe. 

“I thought maybe you’d care!” Stuart called after him. 

It wasn’t until he was back home, in his office, that he began to think about what Stuart had said, to take it seriously. 

If what Stuart had said was true, then there was a murderer on the loose. And, while Ben knew there was probably a few of them around Walford, this was different. This was targeted at Ben, or Tubbs, specifically. There was too much precision, too much...knowledge, about what the man in the park was doing. Which meant there was someone out to get him and his family.

Running his hand through his hair, Ben let out a curse word under his breath. Sure, there was always the possibility of being paranoid. That this was just a coincidence, maybe the dead guy was a creep and whoever had done this was doing him a favour. 

But then, why leave the money?

If it was random, Tubbs would have gone there and got the money either way. Ben would’ve just brushed it off, wouldn’t have sat and dwelled on it because he had his money. 

They weren’t expecting Stuart to have collected it for himself. Which meant they didn’t know Ben was onto them, yet. That gave Ben some time to try and work it out, figure out who and why they were after him. They were clearly dangerous which meant he had to sort something out for his family as well, either a long holiday somewhere or some form of protection.

It wasn’t like people hadn’t tried to overthrow him before, but it had been months since there had been any more threats. Clearly they’d taken some time to regroup and plan this. Which made them even more dangerous. 

The fact that it was planned meant Ben had been set up by the guy who was supposed to meet him. 

Ben let out a loud, agitated noise and threw his pen against the wall, watching it smash and tumble down to the ground. Not that it made him feel any better. 

Taking his phone out of his pocket, Ben sent Tubbs a warning text, albeit brief, to keep an eye on anything suspicious going on and to report back to Ben every night. He typed out a similar text to Jay, telling him to be careful before deleting the message and letting out a sigh. There was no point in worrying them. The less they knew, the better. He trusted Jay with his whole heart to look after Lola and Lexi.

“I need a drink.” Ben muttered to himself. He stood up and left his office, locking the door behind him and leaving the house for The Vic. He shivered as he stepped out of his house, the bite of the October night felt to full effect without his coat, having left it at home in haste to get to the pub.

“Whiskey please, Linda.” Sliding into the stool at the bar, Ben handed her his card (even if she did protest that it was on the house), smiling in gratitude when she slid both back over the bar to him. 

“You doing okay, Ben?” Linda asked, pausing for a moment to look Ben once over in concern. 

“You know me, Linda, always having a good time.” He gave her a fake grin before downing the entire contents of the glass. “Just leave the bottle.”

“And Lexi? How is the little one?” She filled his glass once more, bottle now stood proudly next to the glass. 

Ben’s grin automatically went from fake to genuine as he heard his daughter’s name. “On a date with Lola and Jay. Probably being spoilt rotten.”

“The first born you always spoil. I remember when we had-,” Linda was cut off by a customer calling at her from down the other side of the bar. “Sorry.” She grimaced before walking off to serve them. 

Ben smiled at her in return, shrugging his shoulders slightly as if to say he understood. He popped the bottle back open, not even bothering with the glass as he swigged from the bottle. 

“...Ben?”

Ben looked up from where he was off in his own little world, the surprise clear on his face when he saw it was Callum stood next to him, the expression quickly morphing into a smirk. 

“Well, if it ain’t Callum Highway on his Big Gay Adventure.” Ben smirked, gesturing with the bottle for Callum to sit down. 

Callum took the stool next to Ben, sitting down slowly as if he was still cautious of Ben, which he definitely was. Although, the last time they’d met, Ben had a gun pressed against Callum’s head...he wasn’t as scared as he should be. Or was supposed to be, at least.

Ben was odd. Callum couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but there was just...something. Something that intrigued Callum in a way no one had before. He could clearly see there was more to Ben than the flirty but detached front he put on for everyone to see. Callum wanted to keep peeling back the layers until he found the ‘real’ Ben. 

“Are you ever serious?” Callum asked, a little exasperated tone in his voice, as he nodded in thanks to Linda for handing him a beer.

“If that’s what you’re into.” Ben shrugged, swallowing down another mouthful.

“Unbelievable.” Muttering under his breath, Callum shook his head slightly, looking away.

“Listen, Callum, I ain’t in the mood, alright? You’re a nice bloke and all that but I really ain’t in the mood for deep and meaningful conversations. Just wanna drink my whiskey.”

Callum looked over at Ben’s face, his own face deep in a frown.

“Alright.” Callum muttered, looking down at his beer. There was more he wanted to say, to shout about, even, but clearly it wasn’t the right time. Something was upsetting, or frustrating, Ben. And Callum couldn’t help himself in wanting to know more. It was like an innate need to know everything there was to know about Ben Mitchell. 

The pair of them didn’t speak as the minutes ticked by, both nursing their individual drinks. Callum was still on his first, Ben now having downed the wrong side of half the bottle. There were times where Callum turned to Ben, opened his mouth to say something, but the words not coming out. 

Swivelling around on his stool, he decided to pass the time people watching and hoped that Ben would change his mind and talk to him again. 

There wasn’t anything exciting going on tonight. Usually, if you drink at The Vic, you get a side-show of drama by the Walford residents. But, tonight it seemed to be fairly calm. Clearly no one had any issues to get off their chest tonight. 

Apart from the one guy, sat at a table by himself, who was glaring at the back of Ben’s head. 

Callum frowned, turning to face Ben, keeping an eye on the guy in his peripheral. Usually, Callum wouldn’t have thought twice about the man. Perhaps, he’d had a bad day at work. Or he was just in a bad mood, like Ben. 

But something wasn’t sitting right in his gut with this.

He wasn’t the brightest of the bunch, but Callum trusted his instincts. There were times when he could just look at a person and know they weren’t to be trusted; the same feeling he had now. 

“Have you guys broke up? Is that why you don’t wanna talk?” Callum muttered, watching Ben’s face carefully as he hesitated in asking the question. 

Ben squinted over at Callum as if he could read his mind and try to work out what he meant by such an odd question. Once that didn’t work, Ben briefly looked around the room before clocking the man glaring at him. 

Feigning innocence, and pretending not to have noticed the man, he turned back to his whiskey while his mind raced a mile a minute. 

“Just don’t look at him, okay?” Grabbing Callum’s arm, he pulled him around to face the same was as Ben. 

“Are you okay?”

“I will be.”

“Are you in trouble?” Callum asked, hesitantly reaching out to put his large hand over Ben’s smaller one which was resting on the counter. 

“Callum…” Ben whispered, squeezing his eyes shut for a brief moment as the tough guy act he was constantly putting on, wavered. He wanted to tell Callum everything but he also needed to tell him nothing. 

If the man was from this new gang, seeing Ben and Callum so close would only put him in danger. 

“Alright.” Nodding his head, Callum squeezed Ben’s hand before letting go. “So my brother is still mad at you. You know, for the whole gun to my head, thing.” He teased, watching Ben closely in the hope that a change of conversation would bring the fun, teasing Ben back to hopefully forget about whatever was going on. Even for a couple of minutes. 

“Your brother hated me long before that.” Ben chuckled, knocking his knee against Callum. “He’s hated me since he met me, first for the drugs being denied, then he found out I liked blokes.”

“...Drugs?” Callum frowned deeply. “My brother does drugs? Wait, you sell drugs? What are you, some kind of dealer?” He laughed slightly in disbelief. 

“Wow, your brother really ain’t told you anything. I wondered why you were sitting with me.” Ben commented, raising his eyebrows at Callum. 

“We haven’t really been speaking. Not for the past few months anyway.”

“Why’s that? Finally worked out what a waste of oxygen he is?” Ben snorted before realising who he was talking to. “Sorry, shouldn’t ‘ave said that.”

“It’s...okay. I know it can’t have been easy. With him. And you. Trust me, I know that. But...I’ve spoken to him and he should lay off you. About that anyway.”

“So you told him then?” Ben asked, putting his empty bottle down on the side. “You okay?”

“Yeah...yeah I told him.” Callum gave Ben a small smile. “Better than expected, to be honest. My dad...he’s less discreet about it. He wasn’t a great dad, long before I even knew who I was and me and Stu ain’t been as close as we were at one point. Different paths and that. But it’s brought us back together, I guess. Even if it ain’t easy for him.”

“It shouldn’t have to be easy, or difficult, for him. It’s about you. You shouldn’t have to be someone, be some kind of way that you’re not to make others happy. Even if they are family.”

Nodding his head over slightly, small grimace on his face, Callum reached over and squeezed Ben’s hand in comfort. 

Clearly, he had gone through either a similar, or even shittier, experience with his own family and Callum could see, deep down, how much it affected him. Even if Ben did his utmost to hide it.

Callum edged closer, hesitant and not wanting to both scare Ben and lose his confidence. It was weird, now. Being able to do this. To look and touch and not have to worry about who saw. He was out now which meant that if he wanted to, and he really did, he could lean forward and kiss Ben and no one could say anything about it. 

Well, Ben might have some objections. Callum still couldn’t tell whether Ben liked him or was just messing with him. One minute he was flirting, joking and making sex references. The next, he was asking him if he was okay and being supportive. 

“Could I, uh, maybe get your number?” Callum asked, blushing red as he tapped his fingers on the counter top with nerves. 

“You’re not even going to say please?” Ben retaliated, smirk on his face as he watched Callum get more and more nervous. Deciding to put him out of his misery, Ben reached forward into the pocket of Callum’s coat, taking his phone out of his pocket, typing in 1-2-3-4 as his first guess of the password. Ben couldn’t help the eye roll as the phone unlocked. 

“My birthday’s 21st March. You know, for when we get to that stage of our relationship. It’s a bit safer than 1-2-3-4.” He winked at Callum as he handed the phone back, his number now saved in it.

“Right.” Callum laughed softly, taking his phone back from Ben’s outstretched hand, their fingers brushing together lightly. Ignoring the butterflies in his stomach, Callum placed his phone back in his pocket. 

“So, you gonna tell me about that guy over there, then?” He asked boldly, eyes flicking over to the guy in the booth who was still watching the two of them. 

Ben pursed his lips, looking over at Callum before letting out a sigh. At least if he told Callum, Ben thought, he’d be more vigilant and hopefully a lot more safer. 

“Alright. But not here.” He agreed. “Let me just close the tab then we can go back to mine.”


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! Thank you so much for the comments and feedback so far on this fic! Next part will be out Wednesday!
> 
> Not Beta'd - all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Twitter/Tumblr @mightbeababygay - let me know what you think!!

Ben suppressed the shiver that ran through him as he stepped back into the night’s chill, Callum following him out, although sensibly armed with his jacket wrapped around himself.

“What, you ain’t gonna offer me your coat?” Ben teased as he stepped in line with Callum, leading him back to his house, cigarette already lit in hand. 

“Do you want my jacket?” Callum asked, happy to hand it over.

Ben paused for a second, staring up at Callum with a perplexed expression. He couldn’t believe this guy was real. 

“You ain’t supposed to ask, you’re supposed to just wrap it around my shoulders. y’know, like a big, romantic, gesture? You’ve got a lot to learn, lover boy.” Grinning, Ben nudged Callum with his elbow to continue their walk. “But, no. You keep it.” He answered seriously, waving his hand in Callum’s direction. 

Callum smiled over at Ben, the blush on his cheeks being disguised as an effect of the cold, bitter air. 

“Okay.” He agreed, nudging Ben back. “So, you’re taking me back to your place. Don’t need to be worried, do I?”

“Don’t worry, I ain’t gonna have my wicked way with you. Not yet, at least.”

Raising his eyebrows, Callum nodded his head with a laugh. “I was thinking more along the lines of being murdered. You know, blood splattered all over your nice carpet, ’n all that.”

“Jheeze, you hold a gun to a guy’s head once and he thinks you’re out to get him.”

“Are you?”

Ben sighed, reaching out to grab Callum’s arm, halting their process back to his place once more. He stopped for a moment, staring up at Callum in a hope to work out what was going through his mind, wanting to word it in a way which Callum would understand. 

“No.” Ben told him honestly. “Listen - about yesterday, I didn’t mean it. It was - it was a long day. A really shit day. And no - it still ain’t an excuse. Being truthful? I ain’t got a clue what to say to you to make it better. It was real shitty of me, and you’re, you’re so good. Too good for this world. Anyone else, and I’d of been fuckin’ murdered by now. And yet - you’re here, acting as if nothing happened. You’re too kind. I - I can’t ruin you, Callum. It ain’t fair.”

Ben dragged his hand down Callum’s arm until he reached his hand, gripping onto his fingers, mind made up in that moment. He couldn't ruin Callum's life for his selfish want. No matter how addictive the warm, fuzzy feeling he got in his stomach whenever Callum was around, was.

“I’m sorry.” Ben whispered, leaning up to press a light kiss to Callum’s cheek for one second. Two seconds. 

And with that, he pulled away, swallowing the lump in his throat as he walked away, leaving Callum behind. 

“Ben!” Callum called out after him, watching his retreating figure with sad eyes. He threw his hands in the air in disbelief as he continued to watch, Ben not turning back once, until he couldn’t see him anymore. 

\--

Ben was stretched out across the sofa, blanket laid over him when the others returned. He had spent the rest of the evening watching terrible movies. Not that he was paying attention, his thoughts swirling around loudly in his head. From Callum to gang-related work, he never got five minutes to just stop and - not think.

He couldn’t lie, his heart ached whenever his mind drifted off to Callum. He didn’t want to hurt the guy, and he had planned to tell him everything.

But, Callum was too pure. 

It wasn’t fair for Ben to ruin him. He couldn’t live with himself if he did that.

“What are you sulking at?” Lola asked, the three of them having just returned home from their trip into London, Lexi asleep in Jay’s arms, who shuffled out of the room - both to take Lexi to bed and probably knowing when it was best not to be present. And, this was definitely going to be one of those conversations. 

It wasn’t that the pair hated each other - very much the opposite, in fact, which meant that they clashed more than anyone else. Over everything. But they both knew that they were just trying to look out for one another, wanting what was best for them. 

“Nothing.” Ben sniffed, sitting up. 

“Honestly, Ben, you’re worse than a teenage girl.” Rolling her eyes, Lola sounded exasperated.

It wasn’t a surprise, Ben was constantly in a mood - or sulking - about something. He put it down to being lonely - this life wasn’t suited to companionship. 

And, having that moment with Callum, that moment where he felt like he could have a relationship, like he could be worthy of being loved, it just made everything worse. The hurt stung a little more in that moment. 

Times like this, he thought about giving it all up. Just stopping and getting a ‘normal’ job, maybe then he’d be worthy of falling in love. 

Of being with Callum.

It was all ridiculous, really. They’d only known each other for a day and a few hours, and yet, Callum had got under his skin and it didn’t seem like he was going anywhere. 

No matter how hard Ben tried to resist.

Lola sighed, sitting herself down next to Ben and placing her arm around his shoulder.

“Talk to me, Ben.” She mumbled to him, brushing her fingers through his hair in comfort. “We ain’t stupid, you know, Jay and I, we can see everything you do for us. Everything you’ve given us, how hard you’re trying for Lex. We know it ain’t easy and we’re here for you. We’re in this together. All three of us, we’re a team, ain’t we? A proper little family. And we want you to be happy. You’re a good person, Ben, and you deserve better. I - we - just wish you’d let yourself.”

Ben stared blankly at the wall opposite him, doing his best not to show the effect Lola’s words had on him.

“You don’t get it, Lo, you don’t see the shit I have to do, you see the tamest parts of me.” 

Lola pulled back so she could look at Ben, a look of disbelief on her face. 

“Listen to me, Ben Mitchell, you are a good person. You may like to think that you’re fooling us with this tough guy act, but you ain’t. Not me and not Jay. I know you leave me out of it now, for Lexi’s sake, but Jay still talks to me. He tells me everything, Ben. So, I know, okay? Now, stop with this stupid ‘everything’s fine’, and tell me what’s going on.”

“While I appreciate the pep talk, I’m fine, Lola.” Ben swallowed thickly, looking away from her as he lied, not able to face her. 

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” Lola shook her head, getting up off the sofa to fetch them both a beer out of the fridge. “You know, when we first started all of this - over five years ago, we did it for Lexi because we didn’t want her growing up in the dysfunctional mess that was our families. We said we’d do it together. That didn’t mean this. This isn’t doing it together. 

“This is you, being a stupid fuckin’ Mitchell. I thought we’d left all that behind. That we were going to be our own people.” Lola stared over at him, eyes brimming with unshed tears. “And I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry that we didn’t pull you back from the edge. That we didn’t stop you turning into this - this person that thinks they have to be emotionless. 

“I know you Ben. We both know you. And we know you’re not this front that you put up. I’m sorry we didn’t help you sooner to realise that. It’s okay to let someone in. You did with us two and it turned out pretty well, huh?” Letting out a wet laugh, Lola reached up and wiped the stray tear from her cheek. 

Ben reached over, taking her hand in his own and squeezing. Clearing his throat, he nodded his head, blinking back his own tears. 

She was right. She was always right. 

“I’m just…so lonely.” He whispered, looking down at their hands, not able to look in her eyes. Ben didn’t want her to see the shame in his eyes for not being strong enough. 

“I know.” Lola pulled Ben closer, holding him tightly. “I know, and it’s okay. You’ll find someone who won’t take your bullshit. They’ll break their way into your heart, whether you want them there or not. And, I promise you, it’ll be the best thing ever. It’ll be scary and there’ll be times where you feel you’ve made the wrong choice, but it won’t be.”

Ben squeezed his eyes shut as he buried his face into her neck, his thoughts already drifting off to Callum. 

“And if I’ve already ruined it?”

“Then you’ve gotta go and fix it, ain’t ya?”

\--

We need to talk.

Ben bit his bottom lip as he read over the text from Callum for a sixth time, scratching at his stubble. 

He wasn’t sure what it meant, but telling someone you ‘needed to talk’ usually meant something bad. But at least he knew he wasn’t being broken up with. Ben had taken care of that the night before. 

Everything alright?

Ben fired back, forcing himself to put the phone down and carrying on going over his notes on his desk rather than constantly staring at his phone, waiting for a reply, not that he had to wait long. 

No. 

Dropping his pen in a haste to grab the phone, trying to ignore the panic that one worded answer had set off in his chest. 

Come over. Here all day. 

Ben added his address as an afterthought, taking a deep breath to calm himself down as his mind swirled with thoughts about Callum and what could be wrong. To begin with, Ben had thought it was about him and that’s why they needed to talk. But, after him telling Ben he wasn’t okay, Ben was worried it was something else. 

Something that Ben had caused, no doubt.

Looking down at himself, he shook his head and let out a curse word. There was no way he was meeting Callum in sweatpants that hadn’t been washed for days. Ben rushed out of his office and made his way to his bedroom. Picking out a cleaner, nicer, outfit which consisted of black skinny jeans and a long-sleeved maroon t-shirt - one of his favourites for the way it clung to his muscles, he then laid them out on the bed before jumping in the shower to freshen up. 

Honestly, he couldn’t believe that he’d resorted to rushing around and changing into his best outfit, it wasn’t as if it was a date.

Lola was right, he really was turning into a teenage girl.

Ben quickly changed and fixed his hair as best he could without it looking like he was trying. He was annoyed at himself for how much he cared. He’d only just finished telling himself that this couldn’t happen. 

But, Lola had got in his head. 

And now he was acting crazy.

He didn’t have long to contemplate how he was losing his mind as the doorbell cut through his thoughts.

Taking a deep breath, Ben nodded to himself in the mirror. He made his way down the stairs, taking each step at a time so it didn’t look like he was desperate as he felt.

“Afternoon, Mr Highway.” Ben smiled up at Callum, trying to joke to hide the nerves churning in his stomach.

“Ben.” Callum smiled hesitantly, stepping into the corridor. He brushed past Ben as he entered, sucking in a sharp breath at the contact. 

“Did you want a drink or anything?” 

“No, no, I’m good thank you.”

“Okay.” Ben nodded, pursing his lips at the awkwardness of the situation. He didn’t know what to say, or do, and he had no one else to blame except himself. “So uh, did you want to go in the living room? Or my office? Bed’s also free.” He hummed, cursing himself as soon as he said it. This clearly wasn’t the right time. Ben dragged his eyes appreciatively over Callum, unable to stop himself.

Even if he was still in the same suit. 

“Ben…”

“Sorry, sorry. Find it hard to be sincere.”

“I find it hard to be anything but.” Callum smiled, the two of them staring at one another for a moment before Callum broke it. “I, uh, actually came to see you about something important. Maybe your office would be best?” 

“Yeah, sure. It’s right this way.” Ben nodded his head, trying to hide the tone of disappointment in his voice as he led Callum through the house and upstairs into his office. 

Biting back another joke about his bedroom, Ben opened the door to his office and took a seat on the edge of the desk, Callum settling down on the wooden ‘visitor’ chair. 

“Is everything alright?” Ben asked, interlocking his fingers and resting them on his thigh. 

“It’s...I ain’t an idiot, right? And, and, I know you ain’t perfect. Neither is my brother, far from it. I know there’s something going on between the two of you with him taking your money - or whatever, and then there’s the guy right? The one in the pub. I don’t know what’s going on there but I know it ain’t good. So I know you’re not perfect. And I don’t want you to be.” Callum started abruptly, eyebrows furrowed with his hands waving around in gesture. 

“But that’s not why I’m here. Just needed to get that off my chest. And because I don’t want you to go blaming yourself for the real reason I’m here.” He continued. “I just thought - you’ve clearly got some bad boy thing goin’ on, with the gun and the money, and, and everything, so I thought -,”

“Callum, babe.” Ben interrupted, reaching out to grab hold of one of his hands that was waving around in the air. “You’re wafflin’.”

“Sorry. Sorry. Just don’t want you to get the wrong idea - that I’m here because I think you’re to blame. I know you ain’t.” Callum finally looked up at Ben, squeezing his hand in return. “Last night - after, you know, you left - I went home, back to the flat. I showered, brushed my teeth and got into bed. Didn’t even stop to talk to Stuart, didn’t want to.” He paused for a moment before realising he was still telling Ben irrelevant information. 

“Anyway, I woke up this morning. And this was posted through the door.” Callum let go of Ben’s hand to pull a folded over piece of scruffy-looking paper and handing it over to the shorter man. 

Ben furrowed his eyebrows as he hesitantly reached for the note. 

“I wasn’t sure what to do but I thought you might have some idea. If it’s for my brother, or, or even me - I don’t know - I thought you’d know what to do. I thought you could help.” Callum bit bottom lip as he watched Ben. “I know I ain’t got no right in asking you but I didn’t know what to do.”

Ben opened the note, the crinkling sound of the paper filling the room. 

Stay away from Ben Mitchell. 

Raising his eyebrows, Ben read the note over and over again before looking back over to Callum. 

“And this was it? Nothin’ else?”

“No, just that.” Callum shook his head, wiping the sweaty palm of his hands down his suit trousers. 

“Okay.” Ben nodded, looking back down at the note. 

It was clear it was written in haste, the words barely legible with the speed they were written with, the ink smudged in areas from where the page had been folded before it was even dry. 

Ben stood up, walking over to the pin board he had on the wall and stuck a pin straight through the middle of the page, the note centre of the board. 

It hadn’t really sunk in, just yet, the actual message and what it meant for him, for Callum, for Stuart. 

“‘Okay’? Is that it?” Callum asked, deep frown permanently etched on his face as he watched Ben. 

“What do you want me to say, Callum? That it was me? That it was all some childish, primary school prank to get you to stay away from me?” Ben snapped, rubbing the back of his head with his hand as he stressed. 

Callum visibly recalled, opening and closing his mouth, unsure of what to say. 

“No, I just -.” Callum started before stopping again. Taking a deep breath, he shook his head at himself before starting again. “Listen. Whether that note was for me, or for Stu, it doesn’t matter. Whatever you were trying to prevent happening, doesn’t matter. I ain’t blaming you and I ain’t an idiot. So I’m here. And I’m willing to help you.” 

Ben looked over at Callum, hesitation but a shimmer of awe clear in his blue orbs. 

“How are you going to help? Wait around outside until someone comes and tries to kill you?”

“I ain’t saying I’m some sort of...detective, alright? But what I am saying is, I’ve watched a lot of CIS, too much if we’re being honest. I mean, look, you’ve got the board already. Just need some string now, then we’ll be like two right little detectives.” Callum stood up from his chair, walking over to Ben and taking his hands in his own. “I know we’ve only just met, I know you don’t feel like you can trust me. But you can. You don’t need to worry about keeping me safe, I can keep me safe.”

Ben sighed, pursing his lips as he stared up at Callum before giving a small nod of the head. 

“Alright, alright, since you begged me.” Ben agreed, squeezing Callum’s hand before letting go. He made his way over to his desk, rummaging around in the second drawer. “This is for you.” Ben grinned, throwing the ball of red string over at Callum who caught it but not before fumbling with it several times. 

“Thanks.” Callum laughed. “So I was thinking, maybe you could tell me more about you? Just so we can work this out. Might be easier, y’know, two heads better than one. O-Or not, not if you don’t want to, that’s fine.” He hesitated, not wanting Ben to change his mind about letting Callum in. 

“What do you wanna know? My favourite song? Colour? Movie?” Ben teased, setting out a stack of paper and array of coloured felt tips that he’d stolen from Lexi on top of the desk before dragging the desk closer to where they were standing. 

Callum blushed, both at Ben’s teasing, but mainly at the way his arm muscles bulged in that tight fitting t-shirt he wore as he dragged the desk. 

Reluctantly pulling his eyes away, Callum shook his head. 

“I’ll save that for our next date.” He said, boldly. “Tell me about this. No one else I know walks around with a gun. Or has a mysterious, spy-meets-bad-guy vibe.”

“Maybe you ain’t hanging ‘round with the right people, then.” Ben smirked at Callum, handing him a green pen. 

“Maybe you could introduce me to some?”

“Maybe I’ll keep you all to myself.”

“Seems a bit selfish, really.” Callum teased, finally feeling a little braver around the younger man, like he’d found his footing when it came to Ben. 

“Well, Callum, the first thing you should know about me. I don’t like sharing.” Ben told him, scribbling down some words on a piece of paper before sticking it under the original note. 

For Cal / Stu.

Callum read the new information Ben had added, warm butterflies in his stomach at the nickname. 

“That’s, uh, good.” Callum fumbled for a response, his eyes still focused on Ben’s note. He didn’t know why it was affecting him so much. It was just a stupid nickname. It wasn’t even that. It was literally his name, shortened. 

Maybe it was because it finally felt like acceptance. Like Ben was finally agreeing to let him in. 

Clearing his throat, Callum grabbed his own piece of paper, adding the words ‘who knows about Cal?’ before pinning it underneath Ben’s. It was weird, referring to himself in third person, but it was for the benefit of the board. 

“So you don’t like sharing. What else?” Callum probed. 

“You sure you want to know? Ain’t no turning back, it’s not something you can dip in and out of when you want. I’m not a good person, Callum.” Ben asked, placing the pen down on the desk as he turned to face Callum. 

“I want to know.” Callum confirmed, looking back at Ben with determination. “Tell me.” He encouraged him quietly, sitting himself up on the desk, Ben following in suit. Their thighs pressed together, the warmth from Ben radiating off of him. 

A moment of silence passed between the two of them, Callum waiting patiently and Ben struggling to find the words as he looked down at his feet, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Why don’t you start with Stu, yeah?” Callum suggested, reaching over and resting his hand on top of Ben’s clasped ones. “How do you guys know each other? You mentioned something about drugs last night?”

“It’s difficult - this whole sincere thing.” Ben smiled up at Callum. “You make it look easy.”

“It ain’t that difficult. You’re kind, Ben. Otherwise you wouldn’t have tried protecting me.” Callum laughed, nudging Ben in the side. 

“I’m in a gang.” Ben blurted out, immediately shaking his head, the whole thing sounding stupid to his own ears. “Not like, I’m stuck and can’t get out, it ain’t like that. I - run - the gang. I’m in charge. Whatever you want to call it. But yeah, that’s me. In charge of this whole shit show. Your brother, he ain’t anything to do with it. He just - gets in the way. Harrassing me, wanting things like drugs or info or just to punch me for being gay. Although, the last one probably ain’t going to be a problem anymore. Or, hopefully not, at least.”

“Okay.” Callum nodded his head, squeezing Ben’s hand. He didn’t - couldn’t - think about his brother and what a piece of shit he was for what he’d clearly been doing to Ben, but he knew for certain that he’d give him an earful when he got home. With everything else going on, the last thing Ben needed was Stuart giving him shit.

“‘Okay’? That’s it?” Ben repeated Callum’s words from earlier. 

“Well, I had an idea. Like I said, I ain’t stupid. And the first time we met, you put a gun to my head.” Callum held his hand up, stopping whatever Ben was about to say. “Which I forgave you for, so you don’t need to say sorry or whatever, any more. I’m over it. So this note then, do you know anything about that?”

“No. It wasn’t me - or anyone that works for me.” Ben promised. “Everything’s been pretty calm lately, actually. It was only a matter of time before something else kicked off. You just have bad timing of turning up at the same time.” He grinned, taking Callum’s hand and interlocking their fingers together, palms pressed against one anothers. 

“It’s not a surprise that people are after me. The week ain’t over unless I’ve been threatened or punched at least once.” Ben continued. “There was a guy that some of my people were going to do a deal with. When they got there, he was dead. Your brother took the money that was left behind. It’s weird that I’m now thankful for him taking the money. Otherwise I wouldn’t have had a clue about any of this.” He frowned down at their joined hands. “I didn’t want to drag you into this. That’s why I told you to leave me alone. I thought it’d be safer not to drag you into this. But I guess somehow that already happened.”

“Ben…” Callum sighed softly, reaching over to cup Ben’s face and tilting his head up to make him look at Callum. “It’s my choice, alright? If I wanted to stay away, I could’ve. If I was scared, or whatever it is you think I feel, I could’ve gone to the police or, or even my brother to deal with it. But, I came here. Because I wanted to. Because I trust you.” He spoke quietly, thumb stroking back and forth over Ben’s cheekbone. 

Callum hesitantly leant forward, eyes flicking from Ben’s eyes to his lips. He didn’t even know if the two of them were on the same page, but the tension in the air could be cut with a knife. And Callum was tired of missing out on things he really wanted. He’d spent twenty-eight years doing what other people wanted. 

And, kissing Ben - that was something he wanted. 

Looking up at Ben once more for any sign of hesitation - or disgust at the thought of kissing Callum. Upon not finding any, he pressed his lips lightly against Ben's, pulling back as soon as he’d done it to check Ben’s reaction. 

Ben didn’t waste any time, grabbing at Callum’s tie, pulling him back into a kiss as he let out a breathless, barely audible, moan.

Kissing Ben felt different to any other kiss he’d had with any one else - any other woman. He didn’t realise how good, how electric it could feel. Callum let out a quiet moan as Ben sucked on his bottom lip, both his hands now cupping Ben’s face, never wanting to let go.

Moaning, Ben pressed his tongue into Callum’s mouth, hand’s fumbling with his tie, loosening it as he lost himself in the moment.

Callum gasped, yanking himself away from Ben as he fumbled for the pen and paper.

“The guy in The Vic!” He exclaimed breathlessly, scribbling the words down on paper before pinning it to the board.

“Huh - what?” Ben mumbled, blinking himself back into the room, watching Callum with confused, but fond, eyes. “Glad to know you’re thinking about other men when kissing me.”

Callum shook his head quickly as he turned back to look at Ben, only just realising what he’d done.

“It wasn’t like that, I just suddenly remembered. I wasn’t-,”

“Callum, Callum, babe.” Ben interrupted. “I was joking.”

“Oh.” Callum gave him a shy smile. “Sorry.”

Ben grinned, pulling Callum back closer and pressing a light kiss to his lips. 

“It’s okay. I forgive you.” He teased, whispering against his lips. “We can always try again later. If you want.”

Callum nodded his head slightly, pecking Ben’s lips before pulling away to grab the string off the desk, tying the end around the pin against the original note and creating a line of thread up to his newest contribution. 

“Do you have any scissors?”

“Here.” Ben smiled fondly as he wanted Callum, taking the pocket knife out of his drawer and passing it over. “You weren’t kidding about the CSI, was you?”

“No. Me and my girlfriend used to binge them for days at a time.” Callum smiled fondly at the memory, finishing the thread around the pin, not even blinking twice at Ben keeping a pocket knife in his desk drawer. 

“Girlfriend?”

“Ex-girlfriend. Well, fiance, actually. Long story.”

“As long as she’s an ex.” Ben shrugged. “I don’t play well with others.” He winked at Callum, sliding down off the desk and getting to his feet again. Taking the pen out of Callum’s hand, he placed it back on the desk. “So, an ex-fiance. Anything else I need to know about?”

“No, nothin’ else.” Callum shook his head. “Apart from my love of dogs.”

Ben groaned, throwing his head back in disbelief. “Not you as well.” He complained. “My daughter has been going on and on about me getting her a puppy. I suppose, luckily for you, she’s convinced me.”

“I guess that’ll give me a reason to keep comin’ round.” Callum told him. He didn’t comment on the fact that Ben had a daughter, he didn’t feel like he needed to, it didn’t change anything for him. 

“I can think of a few more reasons.” Ben bit down on his bottom lip as he dragged his eyes up Callum’s body. 

“Yeah?” Callum smirked in response, a wide, cheeky, grin on his face. It felt different being able to do this, to flirt openly with Ben and not have to worry about being seen, or caught. It was thrilling, having someone of the same sex interested in him and being able to reciprocate it, not having to hide away and pretend. “What are they, then?”

Humming in response, Ben pulled Callum closer with his tie once more, wrapping it around his fist as he did so. It was only when they were this close to one another did Ben notice just how tall Callum was. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t turn him on, even a little. 

“Why would I tell you when I can just...show you?” Ben murmured to him, curling his arms around Callum’s shoulders, leaning up to press their lips together.

“Daddy!”

Ben sighed quietly against Callum’s lips, dragging his hand down his chest before pulling away and stepping over to open the office door. 

“Daddy, did you get my puppy yet?” Lexi questioned as she stepped into the office, a frown on her face as she looked around the room for a four-legged creature, huffing when she didn’t see one. “Who are you?” She demanded upon seeing Callum in the room. 

“Lexi!” Lola hissed, entering just as the young child began questioning Callum.

“I’m, uh, Callum.” Callum smiled at the mini-Mitchell, holding his hand out for Lexi to shake. “I’m a - friend - of your dad’s.” He added on, eyes flicking over to Ben to make sure he was saying the right thing, not wanting to cause a fuss. 

Lexi hummed, giving him a charming grin which was identical to her father’s. She took his giant hand in her little one, shaking it once before turning back to her father.

“Friend, huh?” Lola eyed Callum’s loose, disheveled tie before smirking over at Ben who winked in response. 

“Dad,” Lexi whined, dragging out the vowel. “What happened to getting me my puppy?”

“I’m working on it, princess.” Ben pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “How about you and I go find one at the weekend, yeah?”

“Fine.” She sulked, pouting up at her father. It was clear she wanted to go now, even if she had only just got back from Christmas shopping with her mother and was tired. “Is Callum going to be there?”

The two of them turned to Callum at the same time, identical expressions on their face. If anyone had any doubts that this was anything but Ben’s daughter, then they were clearly mistaken. They were like two peas in a pod. 

“Of course.” Callum agreed, nodding his head as he looked between the duo. “If that’s okay.” He directed that part towards Ben, not wanting to overstep his mark.

Ben nodded his head in silent agreement. He was happy to let Callum come along, even if it was going to be chaos with them both demanding different things. The pair and their love for dogs was only going to cause mayhem at the weekend.

He had a horrible feeling he’d end up bringing more than one puppy back. He just couldn’t say no to either of them - not that he’d ever tell them that. 

“Right, come on you. Bath time.” Lola interrupted the moment, holding her hand out for Lexi to take. 

“I better head home, anyway.” Callum spoke up. “Thanks for - um, you know.” He blushed in Ben’s direction, unsure of what to say now the two of them were back by themselves.

“For the kissing?” Ben smirked at the blush of Callum’s face, reaching for his own coat. “I’ll walk you home.”

“No, for the note and helping, you idiot.” Callum rolled his eyes, watching as Ben pulled on his red and black chequered coat.

“So you didn’t like the kissing?” Ben teased, watching the flush on Callum’s cheeks return. He reached for his black boots, pulling them on as he watched the taller man fumble for an answer.

“No, I mean yes but that’s not what I’m trying to thank you for. I’m thanking you for being honest.”

“I know.” Ben sighed, stepping over to Callum. “I wanted to be honest with you, I just don’t want anyone getting hurt. Especially not you or my family. The more you know, the more dangerous it is.”

“That’s why I’m saying thank you. I know it ain’t easy for you, telling me, trusting me, but I promise I’ll keep myself out of trouble.”

“It’s not you I’m worried about. Trouble follows me everywhere I go so I’m gonna be bringing it to your door, no matter what you do.”

“Well, I ain’t staying away from you.” Callum told him, reaching for Ben’s hands. “So, if I have to deal with ‘trouble’ or get my hands dirty, I will. You’re looking out for everyone else, protecting everyone, but no one is out there looking out for you.”

Ben paused, looking up at Callum with a wide-eyed expression on his face which only emphasised how young he really was for all this mess he was in. 

“I’m not asking that of you.” He whispered to Callum. Of course it was early days - far too early to be feeling this way - but he couldn’t believe Callum. How pure he was. How, for some reason, he wanted to be there for Ben, to look out for him. To be his person. 

Ben couldn’t understand how Callum thought he was worth it. He’d only been rude to Callum, or flirted and joked, but yet, here he was wanting to look out for Ben. It only made the guilt worse for what he’d dragged him into. But, it was too late now which meant the only thing Ben could do now was to protect Callum the best he could. 

“Just - shut up, okay? I know you’ve got this - literal - ‘bad-boy, gangster’ thing going on, but it ain’t you. It’s the role you have to play because of the shit life has dealt you, I know that. I spent twenty-eight years of my life in the closet pretending to be someone else because I thought I had to be, so I get it. I understand why you do what you think you have to. But, I see you, okay? I know you ain’t just what you want people to think of you, there’s more to you than just this.”

Ben couldn’t help but look away from Callum, not wanting the man in front of him to see the tears welling up in his eyes. It was all ridiculous really, how he was acting around the guy. They’d barely just met, afterall. 

But, somehow, unbeknownst to Ben, Callum had manged to worm his way into his life, into his heart and fighting it at this point, no matter how hard he tried, was just stupid. That didn’t mean he was going to go laying his heart bare, just yet. 

Ben pulled away from Callum, reaching for the pocket knife that sat on top of his desk. He grabbed it before taking Callum’s hand and placing the fold away into his palm. 

“I’m not good at protecting people. The only way I know how is to push them away and something tells me, that ain’t gonna work with you. So I want - need - you to have this.”

“Ben…” Callum sighed softly, looking down at the pocket knife in his hand which was still gripped tightly in Ben’s own. “I can’t take this. I wouldn’t even know how to use it.”

“It ain’t that difficult, just - I’m not asking you to go round knifing people. I want you to be as safe as possible. That means keeping you safe and your hands clean. But with what’s going on, I can’t promise you that I’ll be there to protect you all the time. So, just take this and if you get into trouble, just get it out, threaten them and run. That’s all I’m asking. Just keep it on you.”

Callum opened and closed his mouth, looking for any reason to not take the knife before giving in and pocketing it. He didn’t have plans to use it, didn’t want to, but if it kept Ben happy, then he’d take it.

“Thank you.” Ben sighed in relief, leaning up on his toes to press a kiss to Callum’s cheek. “Let’s get you home then, hmm? Unless you wanna stay the night.”

And just like that, Ben was back to his cheeky, flirty self.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments and love on this fic - really enjoying writing it! We're getting to the good bits now!!
> 
> Not Beta'd - all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Tumblr/Twitter @mightbebabygay - let me know what you think!!

“You like it?” Ben grinned proudly, leaning back in his leather chair with his arms folded in front of him.

“I think you’ve been watching too much telly, mate.” Tubbs laughed in disbelief, looking up at the half-finished pin board. “But, I guess I gotta give it to you, it’s a lot easier to follow than your angry yelling.”

“I had some help.” Ben smirked at his former cellmate, chucking him a pen. 

“Oh, so I’ve been replaced, then? That how it is?” 

“Of course not.” Winking over at Tubbs, Ben stood up to walk over to the pin board. “So, we’ve just gotta work out who this guy is. Then we’ll have a good lead.” He pursed his lips as he stared at the board, hoping it would magically give him the answers so he could get on with the puppy search for his daughter.

“What did he look like?”

“Angry. Bald. Really, really ugly.” Ben shrugged his shoulders, turning to face Tubbs. “Like I’d killed off his entire family.”

Tubbs looked up from where he was scribbling notes on a piece of paper.

“You didn’t, right?”

“Think I’d remember killing an  _ entire family,  _ Tubbs.” Ben told him in exasperation.

“I know, I know. I was just checking.” Tubbs leveled with him, raising his hands up in a sign of innocence. “I just don’t get it. Why is there this sudden fascination with you?”

“Maybe I’m just that irresistible.” Ben wiggled his eyebrows at Tubbs, teasing grin on his face. “You know how it is, we’ve been through this before. They don’t like me having this power. This ain’t the first time this has happened. It won’t be the last.” 

“It  _ is  _ the first time they’ve come after someone else to get to you.”

Ben sighed through his nose as he chewed on the bottom of his pen.

“But, it’s not even threatening! It’s so stupid, they can’t even do that properly!” Ben exclaimed, frustrations bubbling over. He sighed before shaking his head. “I didn’t mean that.” Ben explained himself even though Tubbs knew he didn’t mean it, that he didn’t  _ want  _ anyone to get hurt because of him. Shaking himself out of those thoughts, he turned to face Tubbs. “So, this guy from the pub is the only place to start. It’d make sense if it was  _ him  _ who gave Callum the note, he’s the only one that’s seen us together.”

“Do you want me to, y’know, have a word?”

“Nah.” Ben threw the pen from his mouth onto the desk with a shake of the head. “I’m dealing with this one myself.”

“Ben..” Tubbs warned him.

“It’ll be fine.” Ben promised him, giving Tubbs a grin. “I’m just going to warn him, it’s not like I’m gonna kill the guy.”

“But if  _ you  _ seek him out, they’ll know they’ve got under your skin.”

“Good.” Ben grabbed his gun from his drawer, tucking it back down his jeans. “Let them know. Let them all know, let them all come for me, I’ll kill the fucking lot of ‘em.”

Tubbs raised his eyebrows, smirking as he watched Ben walk out the office door. 

\--

In Ben’s head, it was a lot easier to find someone to threaten. For some reason, he thought he’d just open his front door and there the guy would be waiting for him. But, in reality, it was boring. 

He’d been wandering around seamlessly for well over an hour now, getting more and more frustrated the colder he got. He’d gotten to the point where he couldn’t even feel his toes in his boots anymore.

Huffing, he sat himself down on the bench, wincing as the cold from the metal seeped through his jeans. Blowing a cold breath from his lips, Ben waited. And waited some more, watching for anyone that looked similar to the guy from the pub the other night until he was interrupted by his phone going off. 

Ben pulled his phone out of his pocket, frowning down at the message on screen from Callum. 

_ Being followed _

He didn’t think twice before jumping up off the bench, dialling Callum’s number. Ben paced and paced some more as the stupid dial tone just kept on ringing. 

Until Callum hung up on him. 

“For fuck sake.” Ben muttered to himself, the pressure in his chest tightening as he pressed the dial button once more, if not even ringing out before Callum hung up.

_ Fine - can’t talk meet at park _

Ben let out a small huff of breath, not even thinking twice as he jogged off in the direction of the park, looking around everywhere for Callum as he went. 

He paced up and down along the grass, eyes glued around the corner to try and spot Callum. 

“Callum.” Ben breathed out as he saw the taller man enter the park, eyes flicking over his shoulder as he waited for the person following him to round the corner. 

Callum smiled as he spotted Ben, casually making his way over to him to pull him into a hug. “It’s the same guy from the pub.” He whispered as their bodies pressed against one another’s. 

Stepping on his toes, Ben rested his chin over Callum’s shoulder, watching as the man stepped into the park, spotting Ben and turning back around again. 

“Where did he even find you?” Ben asked, pulling back from the hug as he watched the retreating figure. Not even waiting for Callum’s answer, he dashed after the man. 

Grabbing him by the back of the leather jacket, Ben pinned the man to the nearby fence. 

“Listen, I ain't got a clue who you are but how about me and you keep this between us? Following young, innocent men around - it’s a bit pervy, ain't it?”

“Ben…” Callum warned from over his shoulder. “Let's just go, yeah?”

The pair of them watched on as the man against the fence laughed, teeth yellowed and crooked, fully on display. 

“Well, if it ain't Ben Mitchell with his big, tough man act.” The man spoke raspily. “Didn't think it'd be this easy to get a rise outta you, what happened to the lone wolf act? Or did you find yourself a new play thing?” He smirked, eyes flicking over to Callum who was hovering just over Ben’s shoulder, unsure of what to do. “How long before you throw this one out?”

“What’s the matter, you jealous? If you want a bit of rough then maybe you could try asking nicely, huh? Bit weird, following people around. That’s gotta stop, people’ll get the wrong impression of you.” Ben shoved the man back against the fence as he lurched forward. 

“I ain’t like you.” The man hissed, spit flying from his lips. “You disgust me, Ben Mitchell. You stroll around here like you own the place. You don’t. You’re nothing.”

Ben laughed sarcastically, nodding his head. “I ain’t sure where you’re getting your information from, but listen here.” Ben snapped, finger pointing millimetres from the man’s face. “This is my town. I own everything here.  _ Everything.  _ So when I tell you to stop following people? You stop. When I tell you to leave? You get your ugly arse out of my town and you. don’t. come. back.” He gave the man a final shove into the wooden fence before walking away. He sniffed, stuffing his hands into his coat pocket as Callum caught up with him. 

“I’m sorry.” Were the first words out of Callum’s mouth. 

“What’re you apologising for?”

“I shouldn’t have got you involved in it. I should’ve just dealt with it, like you told me. If I’d have just told him or threatened him, this wouldn’t have happened. Everything’s going to go to shit now, isn’t it?”

“Callum.” Ben sighed, stopping in his tracks, hand holding onto Callum’s forearm to stop him, too. “This ‘shit’ has been going on for a long time, now. This has nothing to do with you. Sure, I’ve just angered him - or them. But I don’t care because he was after you. And I’ll deal with whatever happens next. It’s going to be fine.”

“I want in.” Callum told him, small frown on his face as if he didn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth before he nodded his head. “I wanna be apart of this.”

“You are. You remember the other week, in my office? The pin board? Me explaining what’s going on? The - kissing? That was you being ‘in’.”

“No. That was you giving me just enough information so I’d stop asking questions. You’ve kept me at arms length since. I want to be in it with you, properly. I want to be in on everything; meetings, errands, dealings. All of it.”

“Callum…” Ben warned, shaking his head slightly. “Listen, it’s not safe. I can’t.”

“No, you listen. I have spent the last week worrying over you, whether your safe. Alive. If everytime I open my front door, someone is going to be there, telling me you’re dead. I ain’t just gonna sit by. I can’t. I’ve spent my whole life alone. But you, you’re different. You fill that void. And I can’t sit by and wait while you feed me scraps, whenever you feel it’s safe or, or not too important. I want to be with you, Ben.”

Ben’s mouth dropped open at Callum. He didn’t realise just how much Callum wanted this. It was bad, the thrum of excitement at Callum wanting to join him; be with him. But that didn’t mean it was a good idea. Callum was a good person. The kind that your mother would want her daughter to bring home for a nice, family dinner. He wasn’t going to be responsible for his - corruption. 

“I can’t be responsible for ruining you, Callum. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” Ben confessed quietly. 

“You ain’t going to ruin me. I ain’t this - this saint that you think I am.” Callum took a step closer to Ben, grabbing his hand to hold tightly. “I know you ain’t doing this alone. Lola has to have some clue, right, and even then that’s not enough. So there’s gotta be more people - why are they okay and not me?” 

“It’s different.”

“How is it different?” Callum exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in disbelief. 

“Because you’re a good person! And I ain’t dragging you down to my level, you don’t know what it’s like!”

“I ain’t going to play wife with you, Ben! I ain’t gonna sit around while you’re out there, putting yourself in danger while I’m at home making chicken pasta! It ain’t gonna happen.”

“Then I guess we’re done here.” Ben swallowed the lump in his throat and walked away.

“Ben!” Callum shouted, the frustration clear in his voice as he chased after the shorter man. “Ben, wait!” 

“What, Callum?” Ben sighed, turning around to face him.

“Let me prove it to you.” 

“This ain’t some kinda trial job at the Minute Mart.”

“I know, I ain’t saying that. It’s just- it’s clear you don’t think I can stomach it, right? So let me prove it to you. Let me do something small, collect some money from someone or do some drug deal, order your office supplies, I don’t care! I just want to be in.” 

“Why are you so desperate, Callum?” Ben frowned, staring up at the older man intently. 

“I’m not desperate.” Callum rolled his eyes. “I’m just wanting to prove something to you. It’s, I-,” He sighed, running his hands through his hair. “I felt so pathetic when he was following me. I wanted to turn round and kill him. The only reason he was following me was to get to you. Because he thinks I’m weak. I’m tired of people thinking I’m weak.”

“This isn’t going to prove anything, Callum. It’s going to make it worse. People will think I’ve forced you into it. They talk round here, you know? Sweet, innocent Callum dragged down by Ben Mitchell, the gay, toxic guy with daddy issues. It’ll be even worse, people will be constantly coming for you to make sure you’re okay, that I’m not forcing you into it.”

“I’ll tell them. I’ll tell everyone. I don’t care, Ben.”

“You can’t do this for me.”

“I’m not. I’m doing it for me.” Callum shook his head quickly. “Just let me come back with you. Show me more. Then I can decide.”

Ben sighed, eyebrows furrowed as he watched Callum. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted Callum with him, by his side where they could rule together. 

But, he didn’t want Callum to do this for Ben. He wasn’t worth it. 

“I’ll think about it.” Ben sighed. “How bout we go get some food? Back at mine. We can talk about it some more.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Ben. You just gotta give me the word, that’s all. I don’t need to talk or be treated with kid gloves. I’m already involved in this. You just gotta trust me.”

Ben pursed his lips together, shaking his head slightly. “Food. Come on.” He told him before walking off, not even waiting to check if Callum was following him. 

They walked in silence as Ben mulled over his thoughts about Callum and what to do next. On one hand, Callum was too good for Ben. But, they’d had this conversation time and time again now. And it didn’t seem like Callum was going to change his mind about this. 

That didn’t mean it was the right thing to do. 

But, if he wanted to be with Callum, he’d have no other choice. There was no way he could keep his work life and Callum separate. He hated himself for the spark of joy that burned in his chest at the idea of the two of them working together. 

They were polar opposites. Callum was soft, gentle and kind. Ben was harsh, critical and rude - on the outside. But, they’d both been burnt by the people that were supposed to care for them. Those supposed to love them. But, they’d found each other now.

They’d be unstoppable.

“Alright,” Ben started, hand stuffed into his pocket to pull out a coin. “I'm gonna flip the coin. The outcome decides whether you're in or not. Your call.”

Callum raised his eyebrows as his eyes flicked between the coin and Ben's eyes. “I- uh, okay.” He shrugged, watching Ben nod in response. The two of them watched as he flicked the coin, it spinning in the air. “Heads.” Callum called. 

They watched with bated breath as the coin tumbled down, landing on the pavement. 

Heads up. 

\--

“I thought we were going back to yours?” Callum frowned as he continued to follow Ben who’d just walked past his house. 

“I thought we’d surprise Lexi and get her a puppy today for when she gets back from school.” Ben shrugged. The coin had decided for him. They were going to do this - together. And, if it turned out into a terrible decision - well, he’d cross that bridge when he got to it. Anything to keep Callum safe. 

“Oh.” Callum smiled, grabbing Ben’s wrist to stop him in the middle of the square. He stopped, looking over Ben’s face to try and capture every little detail. Reaching up, Callum cupped Ben’s face, brushing his thumb across his cheekbone. 

“Unless you wanna go back and make use of an empty house.” Ben smirked, nudging his face against Callum’s hand. 

“Nah, I much prefer the puppies.” Callum teased, pressing a kiss to Ben’s forehead. He lingered for a minute, Ben’s hands resting on Callum’s wrists as the two of them just - stopped. 

“Doggy style, then?” 

Callum pulled back, rolling his eyes in an exasperated but fond manner - an expression he’d gotten used to pulling around Ben. “Way to ruin the moment.”

\--

“I can not believe you made me agree to this.” Ben huffed. 

“Oh come on, she’s adorable!”

“Yes but I was thinking about something a bit smaller and less energetic for a six year old!”

Somehow, Callum had made him agree to adopt a small, German Shepherd puppy. Which, while she was adorable, she was also full of energy. 

“It’ll be good for Lexi, you know, she can train her and it’ll teach her patience.” Callum smiled cheekily over at Ben. 

“She’s a Mitchell, she ain’t gonna need patience.” Ben grumbled, arms filled with all the puppy products they’d need - and more. Way, way more.

“Well, maybe  _ you  _ can learn some patience from her.” Callum teased. 

“I’d much prefer you teaching me.” Ben winked over to Callum, loving the pink flush that dusted his cheeks. “Reward and - punishment.” He drawled out slowly, eyes dragging down Callum’s body.

“Not sure dog treats are edible for humans.” Callum shrugged, feigning innocence as he fought the blush from darkening. 

Ben rasped out a laugh, shaking his head. “I’m sure you’d find another way of treating me.” 

“Long walks in the park? Chew toy? Chasing cats?” Callum rattled off. 

“I could get on board with the toys.” 

Callum rolled his eyes, the blush well and truly flushed on his cheeks as he battled against the thrum of excitement in the pit of his stomach. “I bet you could.” 

“Tell me then, you been with any blokes before?” Ben asked curiously as the two of them - plus the new puppy, walked back to his house. 

“I, uh, no. No blokes.” Callum shook his head quickly. “You’re the first one I’ve kissed, actually.”

Ben couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at that, in disbelief. Of course, he knew Callum had only just came out but that didn’t automatically mean he’d never been with anyone. Only in this case, it had. 

It made the sting of his decision to let Callum in, hurt that little more. 

“There was a guy.” Callum spoke up into the silence. “But it wasn’t ever like - that.”

“How’d you mean?”

“We liked each other - or, at least I think we did. I definitely liked him. But, we couldn’t be together - in the army. We wrote to one another though. I think there was something there.” 

“Oh.” Ben muttered, quietly as he tried to process the new information. “And now? Where is he? Shouldn’t you be off with him, declaring your love?”

“No - he died.” Callum whispered, swallowing past the lump in his throat. 

“I’m sorry.” Ben spoke quietly, the pain in his voice clear that he too, had loved and lost. 

Callum shook his head, giving Ben a tight smile. “We hadn’t spoke in ages. I wouldn’t have even known if his sister hadn’t worked out who the person in the letters were.”

“Is that why you came out? For him?” Ben asked carefully. He watched as Callum opened and closed his mouth several times, shaking his head once more. 

“No.” Was what he finally settled on. “I mean, maybe? I didn’t come out for him - I came out for me. I’ve been scared, and alone, my whole life. Wondering what people would think, what they’d do if they found out. Him dying made me realise - it doesn’t matter. We’re all born and we all die. They’re the only certains there are. I got bored of pretending to be someone I wasn’t. I just - why should I continue to appease others when we’re all gonna die anyway?” 

“Which,” Callum continued. “Is why I wanna do this with you. I’ve fought for a long time to press down every urge when I truly wanted something. This time - I ain’t gotta. Everything’s out there in the open and I’m so tired of being scared, Ben. With you, I don’t have to be. I know you’ve got my back. Like I’ve got yours.” He promised. 

Ben couldn’t help but smile at that. He was proud of Callum for thinking that way.

That’s why the two of them instantly clicked, Ben thought, because they got each other. They were cut from the same cloth.

“I’ve got you.” Ben promised with a whisper. 

  
  



	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favourite chapter so far is here!! 
> 
> Not Beta'd - all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Twitter/Tumblr - mightbeababygay - let me know what you think!

Time passed. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months and yet - nothing. Nothing had happened. There was no interruptions to dealings, no threats through the letterbox, not even a sighting of the man that had been following Callum.

It’d set them all on edge - Ben, Jay, Tubbs and yes, Callum. Even Lola could sense something was wrong and she, too, was stressed. 

The only one who didn’t seem to notice was Lexi which didn’t surprise any of them - she only had time for Elsa (the puppy who’d grown ridiculously big over the months). Ben didn’t mind. She was distracted from everything else that was going on, and that was for the better. This way she didn’t notice the fact that she was always with two of them, that they didn’t leave her alone for five minutes. 

Besides, Elsa had grown extremely protective over Lexi. She’d growl at any stranger in the park that even came near the young girl and Ben was so grateful. 

It made his job a little easier. 

Him and Callum had grown closer. Ben had made the decision to move Callum into their home - with his own bedroom. He didn’t want to pressure Callum into anything. They’d argued over it - the fact that Callum leaving his brother behind in his old house. But after Ben had explained to him that - whilst he really, really, didn’t care about Stuart, that he wouldn’t miss him if he did happen to be murdered but that they weren’t even after him, Callum seemed to come around to the idea. 

It was strange, the two of them already living together when they hadn’t even had sex yet. They’d barely done anything which definitely wasn’t from a lack of trying. It was difficult with three other people and a dog all living under the same roof with them. They took their chances with other things when they could - in the shower, mainly. But Ben didn’t want Callum’s first time to be rushed. He deserved better than that.

Even if Callum did disagree with him over it. 

Which, yeah, Ben could understand why Callum didn’t want a fuss, but Ben wanted to make one. A whole night alone - candle lit dinner, movies, romance - the whole lot. Not a fumbled quickie in the dead of the night.

At least Lola and Jay had taken to knocking on either of their bedroom doors after one particular incident. They’d just gotten home from their date night (Ben made sure they had one once a week), over a month ago now - nothing special, just dinner in a standard restaurant after Callum had gotten bored of Ben spoiling him with fancy restaurants and bars.

They’d both been a little handsy - Ben running his foot over Callum’s calf the whole night as they sat opposite, Callum kissing Ben at every chance he got. It was a wonder they’d even managed to finish the meal before Ben had dragged him home and up the stairs. It wasn’t until Ben had gone down on him did Jay come flying through the door.

Ben still wasn’t sure to this day what he wanted. 

But, at least they’d learned to knock.

“For fucks sake.” Ben muttered as he paced up and down area in front of the bench, hands stuffed in his pockets from the freezing December temperatures.

He and Tubbs were supposed to be meeting with a guy who had information on this rival gang. Apparently this guy knew who was in charge and what they wanted with Ben - other than the obvious. 

It was Callum’s idea to take a more ‘hands-on’ approach and seek these guys out rather than all of them sitting around anxiously. Ben couldn’t help but feel that it was a good idea, even if he was a little apprehensive about Callum being part of the gang, still. 

Except, the guy was now over an hour late and he was supposed to be meeting Callum to collect Lexi from school. He didn’t know if something had happened, or if the guy just wanted to wind them up first. 

If it was the latter, Ben felt sorry for the guy. He should know that Ben didn’t have any patience. And waiting only made him more pissed off. 

“You sure this guy is genuine?” Ben asked Tubbs, stopping in front of him. “Does he know what happens to people who keep me waiting?” 

“He’ll be here.” Tubbs muttered, knowing how impatient Ben was. 

“Yeah, well I’ve gotta pick up my daughter from school.”

“Just get Callum to do it. No one’s going to attack them in broad daylight. And he’s doing good, ain’t he? Honestly, when you first told me he was joining us, I thought you’d lost it. But, he’s been pretty decent.”

And, yeah. Tubbs had a point with that. 

Callum had been doing good. 

They’d argued - and argued, some more - over what Callum would be doing. But, slowly as time had passed, and Ben got used to the idea, he’d given Callum more to do - with Tubbs. Never alone though. He didn’t think he’d ever be at the point where he’d let Callum leave and go off into danger by himself. 

But, Tubbs was right. He was only going to be picking Lexi up and taking her home. They’d been doing it for months and nothing had happened. 

“I’ll ring him.” Ben reluctantly agreed. He took a seat back on the bench next to Tubbs, wincing as the condensation from the metal seeped into the material of his jeans. He pulled out his phone and pressed the speed dial for Callum’s number. 

“Ben, where are you? Are you okay?” Callum answered the phone after the first ring, panicking down the phone before Ben could even speak.

“I’m fine, babe.” Ben promised, small smile tugging at his lips at Callum’s concern over him. “Just running a bit behind with things. You alright to get Lexi by yourself? Or text Jay, he won’t be too mad about their date being ruined - not for Lexi.”

“Is everything okay? What’s he said?” Callum asked. “Don’t worry about Lex, I’ll be alright by myself.” He tacked on as an afterthought.

“He ain’t said anything. The fucker ain’t even turned up.” Ben grumbled, frustrations seeking through into the tone of his voice. 

“He’s brave.” Callum snorted, knowing how much Ben hated being kept waiting. 

“His information better be good otherwise I’m gonna rip his fucking tongue out.” 

Callum sighed down the phone. “I’m sure he’ll be there soon, right? Just - don’t panic and I’ll get Lexi. I’ll see you at home yeah?’

“Yeah.” Ben breathed out, rubbing over his eye as the stress continued to mount. “I’ll see you later, babe.” He let out a long sigh as he hung up, head dropping down. “Ten minutes, if he ain’t here, I’m going home.”

Tubbs didn’t answer, instead just shrugging, as he continued to look around the park, waiting for their guy to turn up. 

The two of them sat there in silence (like they did for most of these outings they went on) as they waited. Ben sighed and grumbled, checking the time on his phone, groaning as the numbers hadn’t even changed since he last checked it. 

“Fuck this.” Ben huffed after another five minutes of waiting, jumping down from the bench, uneasiness lining his stomach. “I’ve got my daughter and my man waiting for me at home. The guy ain’t worth it.” Without even saying goodbye to Tubbs, Ben wandered off, strolling through The Square, back home. 

\--

“Callum!” Lexi exclaimed, running out of the school gates and wrapping her arms around him, careful not to slip on the ice, the dark clouds rolling around them as the night began to draw in. 

“Hey, Princess.” Callum couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across his face. He leaned down, not caring about the harsh, wet ground as he hugged her back just as tightly. 

“Why’re you by yourself? Where’s daddy?” She asked curiously, looking around as if Ben would be hiding somewhere.

“Your dad’s stuck at work but he’s meeting us back home.” Callum explained. He took her school bag from her, hooking the small rucksack over his shoulder. “Careful on the ice, darlin’.”

“Can we have chicken nuggets for tea please, Callum?” Lexi asked, taking Callum’s large hand in her tiny one, ignoring everything he’d just said. “Please, I’ve been good all week. I walked Elsa every day this week and I behaved at school and I tidied my room.”

“I guess we could stop at McKlunky’s on the way home since you’ve been such a good girl.” Callum agreed. He didn’t even think twice about it. She had him wrapped around her little finger. Anything she wanted, it was hers. 

“Yay! Thank you, Callum.” Lexi grinned widely, eyes crinkling from happiness. “I drew some pictures of Elsa today, I can’t wait to show daddy when we get back. Do you think he’ll like them?”

“I’m sure he’ll love them, sweetheart.” Callum answered, the warmth in his heart fighting off any cold from the outdoor temperatures. 

“I thought so. He’s a terrible drawer, did you see our colouring the other day? He was so bad!” Lexi giggled at the memory, unbeknownst to how Callum had gone rigid. 

“Hey, Lex?” Callum stopped her, swallowing down the panic in his throat as he clocked two guys - one of them the same one who had been following him. “If you needed to, if there was a really big emergency, like, like Elsa had escaped from the garden and she’d come here for chicken nuggets - would you be able to take her back home yourself? From here?” He kneeled down in front of her, making sure her coat was done up properly to prevent the chill, checking over her shoes to make sure they were tightened properly.

“Of course, Callum.” Lexi nodded her head proudly. “I’m a big girl!” 

“I know you are, darling. I’m so proud of you.” Callum gave her a tight smile, pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead in a futile attempt to soothe himself more than her. 

He cleared his throat and stood, taking a deep breath. Holding onto the little girl’s hand, he continued to walk with her, hoping and praying that they weren’t here for him. 

However, he’d never had much luck. 

The two guys - both bald, and a lot larger than Callum - came marching towards them.

“Lexi, I need you to listen to me carefully, okay?” Callum spoke quickly as the panic tightened in his chest. He didn’t care about himself, the thugs could do whatever to him. But he was making sure Lexi was getting out of this without a scratch, even if it was the last thing he did. “I need you to get home by yourself, for me. Just like we spoke about. You get home and you find your dad. Tell him - tell him that it’s okay, whatever happens, it’s okay. That you’re safe, and that’s what’s important. That it's not his fault. Can you do that for me?”

Lexi nodded her head, tears welling up in her eyes. 

Callum didn’t get to say anything else - didn’t get to tell her he was proud of her, that he loved her before he was punched in the face, the full force of it snapping his head back as he stumbled, his hand being ripped away from Lexi’s. 

He winced, cradling his jaw as he stood back to full height. “Run.” He whispered to Lexi, watching as she hesitated. “Lexi! You’ve got to go!” Callum shouted at her for the first time in his life. He squashed the guilt down, watching as the little girl nodded, tears flowing freely now as she made a break for it. 

Callum did his best to watch her but he didn’t manage for too long as the two thugs pounced on him, trading punch and kick against his body. 

He sucked it up, counting the minutes that passed in his head. He knew if he could hold out for a couple of minutes, Lexi would be well and truly out of the way - so their attention wouldn’t be on her. 

Then he could start fighting back. 

—

“‘Ello?” Ben shouted through the house, frown on his face. He was definitely expecting Callum and Lexi to be home by now. Except, the only one who answered him was Elsa. “Hey, girl.” Ben smirked, scratching the puppy under the chin. “Let’s get you some dinner, hey?” 

He led the puppy into kitchen, pouring her food into her bowl and watching on as she scoffed it down.

Shrugging his shoulders at the empty house, Ben went to sit in front of the television. It wouldn’t surprise him if Callum was out there, spoiling Lexi - even if Ben had warned him to come straight back home.

“There you are.” Ben stood as he heard the door slam shut. “How badly have you spoilt her, this time?” He trailed off his question as he was hit by the full force of a sobbing Lexi, throwing herself at him. 

“D-Daddy.” She sobbed, hands fisted at the material of Ben’s clothes as hard as she could grasp.

“What,” Ben mumbled, perplexed at what was happening. It took him a second to get his head around - he certainly hadn’t been expecting this. He picked Lexi up in his arms, cradling her close for comfort. “What’s happened, baby? Are you okay? Why’re you crying? Where’s - where’s Callum?” Ben asked, doing his best - and failing - to squash the panic rising up in his throat.

“H-he said it’s o-okay.” Lexi hiccuped, face pressed against Ben’s neck. While she was still scared, she needed to tell Ben what Callum had wanted her to. It was important. “T-That’s what he w-wanted me to t-tell you. But, daddy,” her voice broke once more as a fresh set of tears broke free. “I don’t, I don’t t-think it is.”

Ben sat the pair of them down on the sofa, hands shaking as he grappled with his phone, just about managing to send the warning code (something they’d devised months ago - Callum’s idea - in case of emergencies) to Jay so they’d come back right away.

“There was t-this man, two of them. T-They started h-hitting him.” Lexi sobbed, the whimpers breaking Ben’s heart into further, tinier pieces. “I w-wanted to stay, g-get help, but he told me to g-g-go.” 

“It’s okay.” Ben whispered out the lie, voice thick with unshed tears and panic. “You did such a good job, baby girl. Daddy and Callum are so proud of you.” He stroked over her back, hands trembling at the need to go and find Callum. But he couldn’t leave Lexi alone, he couldn’t until Jay and Lola were back.

Noticing something was wrong, Elsa abandoned her food, padding her way over to the sofa where they were sat, whining up at them - at Lexi. The young girl pulled away from Ben, sliding down off the sofa and onto the floor so she could hug the puppy, which in any other circumstance, would be adorable. Instead, Ben wanted her back in his arms so he had something else to focus on other than the sick feeling churning in his stomach. 

He checked the time on his phone - it’d only been ten minutes since his world came crashing down. Ben stood, unable to sit any longer, pacing up and down. He wiped angrily as a tear trickled down his cheek. He didn’t have time to be upset. He needed Jay and Lola back so he could get to Callum. 

Luckily, he didn’t have too long to wait - the duo crashing through the front door, hetically. 

“What happened?”

“Lexi?”

“Are you okay?”

“Wait - where’s Callum?”

The two of them fired off question after question, Lola rushing over to Lexi, picking her up and checking for any injuries. 

“I’ve gotta go. I’ll, uh, I’ll explain later, yeah? Just - just, don’t let anyone in and, and keep the door locked.” Ben fumbled with his words, trying to keep them safe but also wanting to just run out of the door to Callum. 

“Ben, what happened?” Jay grabbed Ben by the arm as he made his way past, frown etched across his face. 

“I’ve gotta go.” Ben snatched his arm back. 

“Ben. Just calm down and I’ll come with you. What’s going on?”

“They’ve got Callum okay?” Ben snapped, harsher than necessary. “I’ve got to go find him. You need to stay here.”

“You can’t go by yourself! Are you crazy?” Jay hissed, dragging the two of them into the hallway, away from Lola and Lexi. 

“I don’t care, Jay! I need to go! You need to stay here and make sure no one comes here.” Ben rushed out, patience wearing incredibly thin as his hands twitched with the need to leave. 

Ben watched Jay sigh and give in, stepping to the side to let him through with a roll of the eyes. He didn’t even wait to say thank you, or to tell him he’d be fine, before he was flinging the door open. 

He’d only taken two steps outside of the house before he went crashing into someone’s - Callum’s - chest. Ben took a step back, hands reaching out to steady the taller man. 

“Callum…” He breathed a sigh of relief that he was here, that he was alive. Ben looked over Callum, the bile rising in the back of his throat as he saw the rips and stains of blood coating his shirt. He hovered his hands over Callum, unsure of what to do. Upon noticing just how visible they shook, he clenched them into fists. He couldn’t help the guilt that flooded the panic in his chest; this was all his fault. “I-, are you okay?”

“Lexi? Lexi, is she here?” Callum croaked out, wincing as he spoke, trying to push around Ben, needing to see the little girl for himself.

“She’s here.” Ben promised, stepping back in front of Callum before he opened the door. “She’s here, she’s fine. I’m more worried about you, right now.”

Nodding his head, Callum took a deep breath, visibly relaxing now he knew Lexi was okay - even if he did let out a small groan of pain. 

“Talk to me, please.” Ben begged, tears in his eyes as he leaned up to cup Callum’s face, thumb brushing lightly over his swollen eye. 

“I killed them.” Callum whispered into the wind, flinching. “Oh God, I killed them.” He whimpered, tears sliding down his cheeks. He took a step back from Ben, reaching up to wipe the tears, smearing blood across his battered skin. 

“It’s okay.” Ben whispered straight away, he didn’t need to think about. Whatever reasons Callum had, Ben knew they’d be justifiable. “Let’s go inside, yeah? Clean you up, you can tell me what happened.”

“No. No, I - I have to go back.” 

“Callum, please.” Ben begged, taking Callum’s wrist in his hand. He was scared of him leaving. “You don’t need to go back, it’s okay.”

“I can’t.” Callum ran his hand through his hair even if it pulled on the open wounds, made the ache of broken ribs worsen. “I just left, Ben. There’s, they’re just lying there - in the middle of the square. I don’t, I left the knife. God, I’m such an idiot.” He cried. 

Ben stared up at his boyfriend in disbelief. Only his boyfriend would leave the murder weapon behind. Any other circumstance and Ben would be yelling at him right now. But he could see Callum already knew how much of an idiot he was.

“Right, tell me where they are. I’ll go clean it up.” Ben told him, voice switching business-like as he focused on clearing this mess up - now he knew Callum was safe, he could start thinking properly, again. 

“No, no. This is my mess. I’ll come with you.” Callum frowned, already leading Ben down the path, not even stopping to take no for an answer. 

“Callum, you’re hurt.” 

“I’m fine, Ben. I can’t - I need to do this.”

Ben sighed, giving in and nodding his head after a moment - not that it made any difference, Callum wasn’t looking for his approval. He was coming with him, regardless. “Fine. But you’re telling me what happened.”

Callum nodded his head and began explaining what happened. How he’d noticed them following them. How he had made sure Lexi knew how to get home - how to get away. “I’m not this useless,” he continued, motioning to the state of himself. “But I had to make sure Lexi got away. So, I let them kick me and I let them punch me. Until I knew she was safe.”

“I started fighting back then.” He continued. “I gave as good as I got, but there were two of them. So I pulled out the knife, the one you gave me. And I just - I stabbed and I stabbed until they stopped punching me, stopped hurling abuse at me. I didn’t even think. I just - all I could see was Lexi. I had to make sure she was safe.” Callum sniffed, swiping at his eyes angrily. 

“I didn’t care. I didn’t care if I killed them. I don’t think I do now. I mean, who does that? She’s just a little girl and they knew what they were doing. It was done on purpose, weren’t it? You - being late, not being able to come with me so I’d be alone. So I’d - we’d - be an easier target.” He shook his head in disgust. “They got what was coming to them.” Callum whispered into dark, evening sunset. 

Ben stopped the two of them, reaching up to press a light, delicate kiss to Callum’s swollen lips. “I know.” He whispered to him. “And if it wasn’t you - if you hadn’t done it, I’d have been straight out the door to do the same thing.”

Callum gave a light nod of the head, giving Ben a shy smile. “I know.” He whispered - a secret between the two of them and the stars in the night sky. “I told you I’d protect you. That meant Lexi, too. I’d do it again and again if I had to.”

\--

Ben couldn’t help the small jaw drop as he walked over to the two bodies, slumped in the corner. Clearly, no one had spotted them yet - or they did and kept on walking. People knew in this town - you see something you shouldn’t, you keep on stepping, because the consequences wouldn’t be half as bad as what you saw. They’d be worse. 

He toed at the body with his heavy boot, making sure they were fully dead as he rolled them over. Not that they had any chance of surviving this - when Callum said he’d stabbed them over and over again, he wasn’t lying. 

And there was the knife, glinting in the moonlight as it protruded out of his (the same one who’d constantly been harassing Callum over the last few months) chest. 

Leaning down, Ben grabbed the handle of the knife, pulling it out slowly. He was careful not to touch anything - they didn’t need to leave any more evidence behind. Ben wiped the knife on the thugs clothes to clean it before folding it up and dropping it into his own pocket. 

“Is it bad?” Callum asked from the distance he was stood. Whilst he was the one to have done this, he couldn’t stomach it now. “I mean, I know it’s bad cos they’re dead, but, it’s bad bad, ain’t it?”

“No.” Ben told him, stepping over to him to wrap his arms around his waist. “If it was me, I’d have cut them up into tiny pieces and fed them to one another. They’re fucking scum, okay? I don’t want you worrying ‘bout them anymore. They got what was coming to them.”

Callum nodded his head slightly, leaning down to rest his head on top of Ben’s, breathing in his scent to calm him down. His body stung - his face, shoulder, ribs and stomach - now that the adrenaline was beginning to wear off and he definitely needed to clean the wounds. 

He didn’t know what to do now. Where the two of them stood. It was different, now. Things were different. They weren’t young fools playing gangs. He wasn’t. He was a murderer now. It changed things. It changed him. It scared him how he wasn’t even that bothered by what he’d done. He’d just killed two men and all he could think was - good.

Good, they were gone. 

Good, he wasn’t so innocent anymore. 

“I’ll get Tubbs to burn them. Don’t worry about any of this, it’ll be okay. Now, will you please let me take you home to clean you up?”

\--

“Talk to me, baby.” Ben asked gently. They’d gotten home and he’d dragged Callum straight to the bathroom, placing him down on the closed toilet seat. 

“I-,” Callum opened and closed his mouth, wincing as Ben began dabbing the wound on his forehead with a wet, sterilised cloth. “I don’t know what you want me to say.” He whispered.

“Anything. ‘M worried about you. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I don’t…” Callum started, the silver of the blade catching his eye across the room, where it sat on the sink basin, still covered in dry blood. “Have you ever killed someone?”

“Once.” Ben confessed, wiping the scab over his eyebrow. 

“What happened?”

“When we first decided to leave home, start this whole thing up.” The loud splashing of the bowl of water breaking through the quiet tension as Ben cleaned the rag. “We were children. Lexi had only just been born. We were kids having kids. We didn’t know anything except the shit we’d learned from our parents. My dad - he was, is, an arsehole. All he taught me was to fight with my fists but that I was too weak to do that. Too small. Too emotional. Too gay. That I’d never make it anywhere because of that.”

He hung the rag over the side of the bowl, wiping his hand down his jeans to dry them. “I was determined to prove him wrong. I ignored everything he said, everything he showed me to be like. So we left, me, Jay, Lola and baby Lexi. I promised I’d make it, for them. I’d give them all the life they - we - never had. But all I knew was to punch my way to the top. I learned very quickly that I’d get nowhere like that.” Ben gave a sarcastic laugh, shaking his head. 

“So, I stopped being like that. I realised that everywhere was full of dumb thugs who think the best way to get to the top is to bench press more than the next guy. I bucked up my ideas, used by brain a lot more. Promised myself I wouldn’t just start hurting people to get answers. There was this one guy - he must have harassed us for over a year. Here, take this off.” Ben muttered, breaking their story bubble as he helped Callum out of his shirt. 

“He beat me to within an inch of my life. I didn’t rise to it. He kidnapped Jay and I got him back. And I threatened and I threatened this guy but he just wouldn’t learn. Wouldn’t understand that no matter what he did, I’d still be in charge. That’s gonna need stitches.” He mumbled, wiping over the small stab wound to Callum’s shoulder. “Then, he came for Lola.”

Dropping the rag back down on the side, he rummaged through his first aid bag for needle and thread. Ben had learned a long, long time ago how to stitch up wounds. “And, Lola, she’s a fucking badass. She gave as good as she got. But I just - I saw red, you know? I was tired of my family being beat. So I went to see him, I asked nicely to stop. He laughed in my face.” 

“I...I was an idiot, to think that would do it? That me yelling at him would make him leave us alone. And then he killed one of us...Paul. He was my, uh...boyfriend. My first boyfriend. He taught me so much about me, about love. And I got him killed.” Ben cleared his throat, pushing away the tears from the raw memories, trying to thread the needle with shaking hands. 

“I was reckless and in l-love. I didn’t even stop to think...to think that being happy would have consequences. Until they did. As soon as the coppers turned up at the door, I knew something was wrong. They tortured him to send me a message about how I’d always be this - this person, that wouldn’t make it. Wouldn’t amount to anything. I was...so angry. More than when they beat me, when they took Jay, took Lola. 

“It wasn’t fair that I wasn’t allowed to be happy - like the world was just saying a big ‘fuck you’ to me. So I shouted it back twice as loudly and killed him. I bashed his fucking skull in. And I don’t care - didn’t care then. I don’t even think about it anymore. 

“I think about Paul - how it was my fault. If I’d stuck to the promise I made myself and just - shut up, maybe Paul wouldn’t have had to die. But, I realise that was my fault, too. I shouldn’t have gotten him involved in my life but tried to keep it hidden at the same time. It wasn’t ever going to work...loving him and doing this. I knew I’d have to choose one way or another but I never expected it to be made for me, in the worst way possible.”

Ben sniffed, wiping the stray tear that fell from his cheek before cleaning his throat once more, frown on his face. “Me killing him, it made it stop - everything calmed down for a while after that. I’m not saying murder is the best solution, believe me.” He gave a quiet chuckle. “People like them - like him - they deserve what they get. That’s why you shouldn’t care about this, either.”

“I don’t.” Callum whispered, staring over at Ben, his own eyes shining with tears. “What happened…” He started carefully, hand resting on Ben’s hip. “It wasn’t your fault. That was on them, what they did to Paul. There wasn’t anything you could’ve done.”

Sighing quietly, Ben gave a small nod of the head. “It happened a long time ago - over four years now. I’ve made peace with it. It still hurts - to think about it but I’d like to think I’m a different person now. That I’ve learned from it, to not make the same mistakes.”

Callum watched Ben as he successfully threaded the needle. He couldn’t say he wasn’t apprehensive about Ben stitching him back together - he definitely was. “You know what you’re doing, right?”

“Of course.” Ben smiled down at his boyfriend. “Done this plenty of times.” He promised. “So, if you’re not bothered, why are you so quiet?”

“Because I feel like I should be bothered. Like I should care but it’s just - I don’t. I don’t feel anything. No regret, no guilt, nothin’.”

“You’re about to feel something because this is gonna hurt like a bitch.” Ben smiled, trying to cheer Callum up. “You did the right thing, babe. I didn’t want this for you but you have nothing to regret or feel guilty about.”

“Fuck.” Callum hissed, head tipping back as Ben began stitching him up. “I just murdered someone. Two someones!”

“They were arseholes, Cal. Disgusting people who got what they deserved.” Ben muttered, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “Now, sit still.”

Callum complied, sitting as still as he could with the amount of pain, as Ben finished stitching him up. He placed a bandage over the sewn-up wound before stepping back, running his eyes over Callum’s body to check for anything he’d missed. 

“Did you wanna see Lexi before we go to bed? That’ll cheer you up, yeah? Then I’ll kiss you all better.” Ben smirked, leaning down to press a kiss to Callum’s lips, careful not to hurt him anymore. 

“Who says I want you to kiss me better?” Callum smiled teasingly, hands coming up to rest on Ben’s waist.

“That ain’t what you were saying last night. I remember how you were shouting at me - something about not stopping?” 

“In your dreams.” Callum scoffed, light blush filling his cheeks.

“Trust me, there’s a lot more going on than a blow job, in my dreams.” Ben hummed, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth as he stared down at Callum, the want and need written clear across his face. 

“Maybe you could show me, huh?” Callum pulled Ben down so he was straddling across his hips, ignoring the flare of pain in his ribs at the movement.

“Not sure you could handle it.” Ben rolled his hips down to grind against Callum’s.

Callum grimaced as the pain in his ribs worsened, doing his best to hide it from Ben. He didn’t do very well though, as Ben immediately clambered off of him. “No, come on, I’m fine.” He whined. 

“No, no sex for you until you’re better.” Ben huffed, grabbing more bandages. “Stand up. Let me wrap your ribs before you puncture something.”


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short chapter but it's setting up ready for the penultimate one!! Let me know what you think pls.
> 
> Twitter/Tumblr - mightbeababygay
> 
> Not beta'd - all mistakes are my own.

“Alright,” Ben leaned against the back of the chair, arms folded as he stared around the tables at the others - his family, Lexi playing on the floor with her toys. He paused when he met Callum’s eyes, the bruises still visible but thankfully, turning an ugly shade of yellow as they healed. “As you know, there's been some trouble.”

Ignoring Lola's scoff at the word ‘trouble’, Ben cleared his throat before continuing. “We believe that someone is out for revenge because of something I did a long time ago. That's why,” he pulled the tickets out of his pocket, throwing them into the middle of the table. “I want you all to go on a short holiday until it's blown over.”

Holding his hand up at the shouts of protests, Ben sighed. “It's safest for all of you. I've spoke to Tubbs, he's staying. The rest of you...there's a nice Villa waiting for you in Spain. I’ve booked spa days and pool time, there’s even a nice little cocktail bar for you to enjoy. It's the best way to keep you safe. To keep Lexi safe.” He met Lola's eyes across the table. 

“You think that's going to stop them?” Jay spoke up. “They've got the resources. If they were able to find out about all of us, about Lexi - where she goes to school, what days she has after school, who picks her up and drops her off on what day - then they're going to have the funds, the manpower to find us there. So what, you ship us off and then we've got a week? A day? Until they're out there and found us. And we're stuck in a country we don't know? No chance.”

“I've spoken to some old friends over there. There'll be full protection on the house at all times. Ex-military. They'll keep you safe whilst I deal with business here. Then, when it's safe, you can come home and we can get on with our lives.”

Unspeaking, Callum reached over for his ticket, sliding it across the table in the silence. They all watched on as he took his lighter (a bad habit he'd started because of Ben) from his pocket, setting the corner of the ticket alight. 

“Callum-,” 

“No, Ben.” He spoke up, cutting the younger man off. “You ain't even let us vote on this. We're all tired of you running around, doing what you please without consulting us. We're in this together. I'm ain’t going anywhere.” Callum dropped the burning ticket into the bin before sitting forward in his seat, fingers entwined together. “I understand you wanting Lexi to be safe, we all do. But you gotta let us vote on things, you can't keep controlling everyone when it doesn't work.”

Eyes flicking away from Callum's, Ben clenched his hand at his side in annoyance. Not at the words Callum spoke, but at the fact he was right.“Alright.” He muttered out eventually. “There's no point in me asking, I know, but show of hands who thinks they should go.”

He looked around, meeting everyone's eyes, lingering on Lola's as he silently begged her to go. To take Lexi, to be safe. But the only person he was fooling was himself. 

“Okay.” Ben sniffed, grabbing at the pile of tickets from the middle of the table, tossing them into the bin. “Plan B it is, then.”

“You've already got another plan?” Lola raised her eyebrows, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. 

“Course he has.” Tubbs smirked, cigarette dangling between his fingers, glass of whiskey in the other. 

“It was the plan along, wasn't it?” Callum shook his head. “This was all some kind of ruse. He knew none of us would actually go. You were just checking our loyalty, weren't you, Ben?”

Ben sighed, looking away once more in guilt. He hated how well Callum could see through him. It made him feel bare, naked, like all of his shield and the layers of protection he'd built around himself...they all meant nothing when it came to Callum. 

“The things were gonna have to do, I can't ask them of you.” Ben mentioned as if that was a good enough excuse. 

“How many times we gonna go over this, Ben?” Lola hissed as she leaned forward in her chair, perfectly manicured fingernail tapping against the table. “None of us are perfect. We've all done shit. Nobody is asking you to keep our hands clean, otherwise we wouldn't be sat here.”

Fumbling into his pocket for his cigarette box, he pulled one out, pressing it between his lips purely for the distraction - a brief pause to catch his thoughts. Ben took the lighter from Callum's outstretched hand, his finger brushing against Ben's in solidarity.

Ben gave a small nod before dropping his hand, lighting the cigarette. “I'll go over the plan tonight. If you change your mind, any of you, you know where to find me.” He spoke before marching off up the stairs into his office.

\--

“What are we going to do, Callum?” Lola spoke up from where they were still sat around the table, long after Ben had left. “He's not thinking right, wanting us all to leave when he knows we're stronger together?”

“I know.” Callum muttered, running his hand through his hair. “I'll speak to him, yeah? He's just doing what he thinks is right, damage control because of what happened.” He gestured to the scrapes and bruises that still littered his body. 

“This ain't the first time one of us has been beaten up, through.” Jay piped up.

“No offence, but you ain’t Callum.” Tubbs sighed, arms folded as he looked between the other three. “It's different when it's someone you love. Especially after everything he's been through with Paul.”

Callum swallowed the lump in the back of his throat, looking down at the mahogany table. “This whole thing is because of Paul, what's happening.”

“What?” Lola frowned. 

“The...guy that Ben killed, who, y’know, murdered Paul. It's his brother. That's after us. That's-that's why Ben wants everyone out of here. He’s scared.”

Jay and Lola stared blankly back at him, mouths pursed open as they prepared their literary of questions. The only person who gave any indication of already knowing, was Tubbs. 

Callum didn’t know if that was because he’d spoken to Ben, or if it was because he’d spent long enough in this game to know who and what were the most likely of threats. 

“I don’t,” Callum continued. “know what’s changed, why the sudden urgency to get everyone out, to get everything moving. But I’ll talk to him, remind him we’re family. He’s just trying his best.” He stood from his seat, small grimace of a smile on his face. 

“What-, Callum you can’t just tell us that then leave!” Lola snapped, arms folded over her chest.

“That’s all I know. I’m going to talk to him now, convince him to talk to us all properly.” He promised, patting Tubbs on the arm in greeting but also as an apology for leaving him to deal with Jay and Lola. 

Taking a deep breath to calm his frustration that was threatening to bubble up - they didn’t need the pair of them already on edge before they’d even spoke - Callum tapped his knuckles on the office door once before stepping in.

“You okay?” He asked gently, taking in the trashed pen pot, contents thrown across the floor clearly in a fit of rage.

“Is that supposed to be funny?” Ben snapped, looking up from whatever he was working on, hair sticking up at different angles from where he’d been running his hand through it in clear annoyance. 

“You do look like you could do with a laugh.” Callum shut the door quietly behind him, stepping over to sit in the visitor chair, the pens and pencils crunching underneath his feet. “You gonna tell me what’s happened?”

“You mean you don’t remember? I wouldn’t have thought you needed reminding about murdering people.”

Sucking a hiss of breath through his teeth at the stark reminder, Callum couldn’t help but flinch. Of course he hadn’t forgotten. He didn’t think he ever would. There was the reminder every time he moved and another bruise would sting. Every time Ben - or even Lola, Jay or Tubbs - looked at him worriedly, like he was one second away from snapping and losing control. 

It still didn’t change his feelings on the matter. Yes, he was still in slight shock from having murdered two people. But he didn’t regret it, and as soon as he remembered what could’ve (would’ve) happened if he hadn’t done it, the guilt was soothed over. 

He knew what Ben was doing. He was trying his best to push people away, to be cruel and cold with them until they left him alone. It was his signature move.

It wasn’t difficult, learning Ben’s tactics. In fact, if you paid close enough attention to the young man, they soon became pretty clear. 

That didn’t mean it didn’t stop him from using them, from hurting the people he cared for the most. 

Because, for as clear as Callum saw Ben, Ben saw everybody else. He knew every little thing that set people off. That was Ben’s game and god did he play it well. 

“I ain’t playing this game with you, Ben.” Callum told him, leaning back in the chair. “So, go on. Get it all of your chest now - all the little digs and the comments about it. Or anything else you’ve got stored up. I’ve told you my feelings about it, I don’t regret it and I ain’t gonna.”

The pair stared across at one another, their own Mexican standoff minus the guns until Ben (unusually) broke it, reaching into the drawer to throw an envelope over to Callum.

“What’s this? If this is more tickets, Ben, I swear-,”

“It came this morning. It’s from them.” Ben cut him off, picking up a pen to fiddle with. “I’ve had those tickets for months, just in case. I felt that, after this came, it’d be a good time to use them.”

“What-, What is it?” Callum asked hesitantly, taking the envelope from the desk. 

“It’s from him. The brother.” Ben started, biting at his thumbnail. “I thought maybe he wanted to take me down, my money, the business. But they’re out to kill us. All of us.”

“...All of us?” Callum swallowed thickly, blood draining from his face as he met Ben’s eyes across the desk. 

“All of us.” Ben whispered the confirmation with a barely-there nod of the head. 

Closing his eyes briefly, Callum took a deep breath before reopening them. This clearly wasn’t the time to panic. They both knew what was at stake here. They’d do anything to keep everyone safe - especially Lexi. Even if that meant they didn’t make it. 

Because that was the thing, no matter how differently Callum and Ben approached a situation (more thoughtful or chaotic), they’d always meet in the middle at the same conclusion. 

They were always going to put everyone else first. They’d both be the last to step out of a burning building, once there was no one left to save. 

“Okay. And this?” He asked, undoing the envelope. 

“Pictures.” Ben sighed, running his hand through his hair in worry. “Lola and Jay in London. Lola and Jay in the park, me and you, Lexi on her own, Tubbs. The lot of us. We’ve all been marked. They’ve been watching us for weeks, for months. They know what we’ve been up to, our daily routines, where we buy our fuckin’ milk. Everything. And I’ve just-, I’ve just sat by and let it happen.”

Pushing the sick feeling in his stomach away, Callum flicked through the pictures, only able to look at the first few before he dropped them back on the desk. “It wasn’t your fault.” Callum told him carefully, addressing this situation first. He needed Ben out of his self-destruct mode for them to be able to formulate a proper plan.

It was never good to get on the wrong side of Ben in this mood. He tended to lash out with the meanest of words when he felt cornered, or pressured. It was something he’d learned pretty quickly over the last few months, that most of the things he said weren’t true. 

“What do you mean by marked?” He stood, stepping around the desk to perch himself on it in front of Ben. “Cigarette?” Callum offered, holding the box out. “Then maybe you can tell me how you know about all of this?”

Ben obliged, leaning forward in his seat with a sigh. “He’s left a mark on the back of every picture. A raven. It’s his symbol. A few years back, I had someone come to me - they were after my help. Apparently they’d crossed someone and he was after them. They had pictures, similar to those ones - their entire family, marked with a raven.” He paused, taking a drag from the cigarette, the smoke billowing above him as he exhaled. “I asked Tubbs to look into it for me. He tracked it down to a man called Bill Tickner.” 

“You mean the guy who’s gonna kill us all is called Bill?” Callum couldn’t help but snort. 

“I know.” Ben gave him a small smile. “Ain’t the scariest name, is it?” He swiped the glass of whiskey from the desk, taking a mouthful before letting out another sigh. “The guy I killed was a Ray Tickner. He must’ve been, what? Twenty? Thirty? I know he had a twin - so I’m guessing that’s Bill.”

Callum gave a small nod of the head, putting his cigarette out in the ashtray. “So why now?”

“Who knows?” Ben sighed, leaning back in his chair, eyes closed. “I reckon they’ve been planning it since I killed him. Which means we’re fucked.”

Rolling his eyes, Callum dragged Ben forward by the arms of the chair. “We’ll think of something.” He promised as he leaned down, cupping Ben's cheeks, kissing him gently. “You're Ben Mitchell, of course you've got a plan.”

“Maybe one.” Ben smiled at the praise, sliding his arms around Callum's waist. “But it's dangerous.”

“When isn't it?” Callum gave a small shrug, brushing his thumb against Ben's cheekbone in comfort. “What did you have in mind?”

“Divide and conquer.” Was the only response he got, Callum's hands dropping down to his sides as Ben stood. “Listen, do you wanna go out later? Just me and you.”

“Um, sure.” Callum nodded, confusion clear in the tone of his voice at the change of topic. 

“Don't sound too sure, bloody hell.” Ben snorted, lighting another cigarette. “I just thought we could go out before everything goes to shit.” He paused, taking a drag. “If you don't want to, you ain't gotta.”

“I do.” Callum smiled. “You know I do, just-, is it safe?”

“When’s it ever?” Ben stepped forward, pressing the butt of the cigarette into the ashtray. “Come here.” He muttered with a small smile, taking Callum by the shirt to connect their lips. He’d been careful over the last few days, not wanting to worsen Callum’s injures any further than they already are.

They were healing, that’s for sure, but not at the speed Ben wanted. He could barely stomach looking at the bruises, the split lip, having to help Callum in and out of his clothes and not in the fun way. Wishing the evidence away didn’t change the fact that it had happened. And Callum seemed to be dealing with it so much better than Ben was. 

(Which made sense purely because Callum was the rational one of the two. Not that Ben would admit it.)

“Missed you.” Callum whispered once the kiss broke, hands cupping his cheeks. And, yeah, that was the other thing. Ben had been distant since the attack, trapped in his own head. And if he wasn’t in his head, he was stuck in the office, trying to work out what the hell was going on. 

It wasn’t fair to Callum, nor to Lexi, but he didn’t know what else to do. This was his fault and he needed to find a way to sort it. For all of them before it was too late. 

The two of them just stopped and stared for a fleeting moment, breathing one another in. The bitter taste of the cigarette smoke on their breaths tangled together until Ben gave in, pressing his lips desperately back against Callum’s, a moan of relief escaping the back of his throat.

Ignoring the twinge his ribs and the sting of his stitches stretching in his shoulder, Callum walked Ben backwards, pressing him up against the wall with a thud. “Ben.” He gasped into the shorter man’s mouth, hands tangling into his hair. 

Ben keened beautifully, chest arching into Callum's as he grabbed at him, wanting him closer. Licking into his mouth, he raised himself up onto his tiptoes, the reduction in height difference allowing their tongues to tangle together that little bit sweeter. 

Hands dragging down over Ben’s body, Callum squeezed at his hips before suddenly lifting him up. And fuck, wasn’t that sexy, Ben thought with a moan. He tangled his arms around Callum’s shoulders, whining into his mouth as their teeth clashed. 

Carrying him the few steps across the room, Callum laid him down over the desk, paperwork fluttering to the ground as he crowded into Ben’s space, their lips never leaving as his hand trailed down to buckle of his belt.

—

“Feeling better?” Callum asked, handing the bottle of whiskey over to Ben, their thighs pressed together as they sat on the floor, backs propped up against the desk.

“I hope you didn’t do that ‘cos I’m stressed.” Ben rolled his eyebrows, taking a swig from the bottle. 

“No, you muppet.” Callum rolled his eyes, reaching up to fix Ben’s collar for him. “I did it because I wanted to. Ain’t I allowed to ask my boyfriend how he’s feeling after we sleep together?”

“Boyfriend now, am I?”

Callum stared at Ben, eyebrows raised. Sometimes, like in this moment now, he couldn’t tell whether Ben was being serious or winding him up. “I live with you?”

“So does Jay. He ain’t my boyfriend.” Ben drank once more from the bottle, nudging Callum playfully with his elbow. “Come on, I’m joking. Lighten up, yeah? Anyone would think we were about to die.”

“Ben.” Huffed Callum, nudging him back twice as hard. He wasn’t hiding from the truth - he knew very realistically what could happen tomorrow. That’s why he took the chance now, to sleep with Ben. He didn’t need the fancy drinks and a menu full of food he couldn’t pronounce. He just wanted Ben - whilst he was still alive. 

Cutting through the silence that was the two of them just sitting there in the quiet room, both lost in their own heads, their own thoughts, Ben spoke up. “I’ve got a plan but you’re not gonna like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theories welcome!! Also, not sure when the next chapter is gonna be out - hopefully soon (within a week for sure!), but I'm struggling with confidence&writing at the moment, should shake myself out of it soon and be back with the final 2 chapters!!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, at the end! Not gonna say much more but let me know what you think in the comments or on twitter/Tumblr - @mightbeababygay.
> 
> This fic's finished now but I'm starting a zombie apocalypse au and a soulmates au in the new year!!
> 
> Thank you x

Dropping the bags of takeaway into the middle of the table, Ben stood, frown on his face and hands tucked in his pockets. He watched, for a brief moment as Lexi took her chicken nuggets over to the sofa, Elsa not far behind. His heart softened. But he dragged his eyes away, focusing back on the people sat around the table. If he let those thoughts in he knew he would break down. He wouldn’t make it through this final conversation. 

“So you sharin’ this plan or what?” Stuart piped up around a mouthful of burger. It hadn’t been his idea to get him involved. No, that was all down to Callum. Ben didn’t want him anywhere near the situation, but Callum had raised several points, all which resulted in his daughter being that little bit safer. So he had no choice.

“Remember whose table your sat at.” Ben warned with a point of the finger, fire in his eyes. “You’re only here because your brother is. So keep your mouth shut unless spoken to. Understand?”

A hand - Callum’s - came to rest on his shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze as he side stepped him, taking his place in the second seat once he’d shared the beers around. 

“Alright.” Ben spoke up after everyone had finished fidgeting around, all of them tucking into the food that Ben had ordered - except from himself, of course, he stomach was too busy doing somersaults for him to even think about eating. “You’ve all been briefed on what’s happening.” He paused to light a cigarette, the tobacco calming his nerves. “We’ve come up with a plan.”

“You ain’t gonna like it but it’s the only option.” Ben explained, arms crossed and leaning against the back of the chair, meeting Lola’s eyes briefly before looking away, staring straight ahead, eyes stern. “We, Tubbs and I, have dealt with these guys before. There's Bill, he's the guy after us. The other five are his muscle. They want us all dead. All of us.”

“You mean-,”

“Yeah.” He interrupted Lola with a slight nod of the head, briefly meeting her eyes. “All of us. Bill will want me for himself. So I can't be here, near Lexi. That's why Stuart's here. Him and Tubbs are staying behind to look after her.”

“What? No, Ben. I ain't letting them look after our daughter. If you ain't staying, I will.” 

“Lola.” Ben sighed through his nose, pinching the bridge. “If we stay here, they'll get her too. I trust Tubbs with my life.”

“Bit rude, ain't it?” Stuart piped up. 

“If I had my choice, you wouldn't even be here.” Ben hissed to Stuart. “You're only here to make up the numbers. If you even think about messing up tonight, I'll make sure your life ain't worth living. You understand me?” He stared Stuart down, eyes dark and dangerous. 

“What about the rest of us then?” Jay mentioned, clearly trying to defuse the situation that was bubbling up. “If Tubbs and Stuart are looking after her.”

“We're going on a date.”

“You want me to babysit your kid while you’re all out on a date?” Stuart exclaimed, pushing his empty container away from him across the table. 

“Me and Callum are going to E20. Jay and Lola, you’ll be at The Vic.” Ben announced, ignoring Stuart and his complaining as he pulled out a small box from his pocket and sliding it across the table to Jay. “There’s a tracker in there. You need to put it on Lo, when you get there.”

“Ben…” Jay warned, reaching out to take the box but not pocketing it. That would make this all the more real, and he wasn’t ready to face that yet. 

“You put the tracker on and you let her leave. Then they take her.” Ben told him, jaw clenched as he looked down at the table. He couldn’t meet their eyes. He hated himself for what he was doing - sending everyone into danger. Because, as much as the ‘divide and conquer’ weakened the opposition, it did the same for them. To divide them, they had to divide themselves. 

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Lola snapped, arms folded across her chest in defensive. 

“No, no you don’t.” Ben warned her. “This is the plan. You’re either in this, or you can leave and they kill you. They’re your only options.” He spoke harshly. He didn’t want to hurt her - or any of them with his words - but they needed to know the true extent of this. What was at stake.

She looked over at Callum, meeting his eyes. They were in the same position, she realised. Ben was going to let the same thing happen to Callum. And if he could do that, when he’d already lost Paul, when Callum had barely made it out alive the last time, she could do this too. Giving a slight nod of the head, she leaned back in her chair complacently.

“It’ll be the muscle that’s watching us. They won’t realise that them both leaving, unprotected, could be a set up. So they’ll take Lola. And, they’ll take Callum. Me and Jay will then wait...for at least an hour. Any less and he’ll know. It should be in the same place. If not, we meet back here.”

“And that’s it?”

“That’s it, Jay. You kill all of them in the room with you. If they’re busy with Callum and Lola, they won’t be here. And if they do come, Tubbs will kill them. Then it’s done. And we get on with the rest of our lives.”

\--

“You want a drink?” Ben asked, staring over at Callum across the table. It was different. Being here like this - knowing he was just supposed to let him go in a moment. Let him be potentially killed if Ben didn’t get there quick enough. “Take the edge off?”

“No.” Callum shook his head, taking Ben’s slightly shaky hands in his own. “You okay?”

“Oh yeah, never been better.” Ben scoffed. “I’m about to send you to your death, course I’m fine.”

“I ain’t dying.”

“You will if I don’t get there in time.” He counteracted, pulling his hand away to run through his hair. “I’m-,”

“Ben.” Callum interrupted. “Listen to me for once, please. I trust you. I know you’ve thought about this plan and you’ve noted every possible outcome. I know a lot of them are against us. That there is a chance I won’t make it back. I’m okay with that.”

“How can you be okay with that?” Ben hissed. “You didn’t ask for any of this!”

“Because if they’re killing me, they’re not hurting Lexi. Or you, for that matter. I need to say this, before I go. But, just...these last few months have been the best moments of my life. I’ve not regretted a single second of them. Any of it. From harassing you in the pub to buying the wrong sized dog for a child. I’ve got to live my best life with you, huh? And I need you to know that I-,”

“Stop.” Ben warned. “I know, okay? I know you do but just don’t say it. If you say it, it becomes real and then I can’t let you go.” He choked on the words, eyes watering.

Callum opened his mouth, protest ready on the tip of his tongue before he realised. Ben was right. This wasn’t a dying declaration of love, nor was it the movies. He had faith in Ben. They’d all be okay. 

“Fine.” He reluctantly agreed with a nod of the head, clutching at Ben’s hands. “Do you have the tracker?”

Ben nodded his head, leaning over to press their lips together as a thank you. “Put it under your shirt. They ain’t gonna check closely enough. They’ll just want your weapons.”

“My weapon, huh?” Callum wiggles his eyebrows, hoping, praying, Ben would have some remark for the innuendo. Except, it just fell flat into the awkward air. 

“I’m gonna have to say some pretty harsh stuff in there.” Ben cleared his throat, reaching over to press the small tracking device into the shirt under the pretence of fixing his collar for him, fingertips brushing against the skin of Callum’s neck. “I want you to know it ain’t real. Whatever I say, I don’t mean.”

“I know, Ben.” Callum sighed, cupping his cheek. “I ain’t doubting you for a second, okay? I know how this works, I’ve seen it in the movies.”

“This ain’t the movies, Cal.” Ben told him quietly, squeezing his hand to soften the words. He wish he could pretend that this wasn’t real. That he wasn’t doing this. The idea that he’d caused this - then come up with this idea, this stupid, stupid plan, it made his stomach turn. But it was too late now. The wheels were set in motion and the only want past this was to finish what he’d started.

“I know, it’s better.” Callum smiled, thumb brushing across his cheek. “You know why? Because I’ve got you and that’s real.”

Ben couldn’t help but crack a smile, looking down at the table for a brief moment before looking back at Callum, love shining in his eyes. “I am pretty amazing.”

“You are.” Callum leaned over to connect their lips in a gentle kiss, eyes fluttering shut as the two of them savoured the moment. “Just not as amazing as Tom Hardy.” He couldn’t help but tease as he sat back in his chair.

Pausing for a moment, mouth dropped slightly open at Callum’s retort, before he gave a slight shrug. “Least you’ve got taste.”

“Some would say taste. Others would call it a bad sense of judgement.” Callum chuckled, curling his foot around Ben’s ankle. 

“You can have both. I’m bad for you but you love it.” Ben reasoned, even if the guilt from just how true those words were, stung that little more under these circumstances. Checking his watch, Ben couldn’t help the flinch. “It’s time.”

Smile dropping of his face, Callum gave a small nod. He reluctantly pulled his hands away, wiping the sweaty palms down his jean-covered things before standing. “I’ll see you in an hour, yeah?”

Ben gave Callum a watery smile as he stood, cupping Callum’s cheeks. “I’ll see you in a minute.” He whispered, pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. 

\--

Fingers tapping against the steering wheel of the car, Ben was seconds away from vomiting. He was out of control, this situation was no longer down to him. One wrong move, one wrong word or even a look and it could be over. For him but most importantly, for Callum.

Ben couldn’t be responsible for another person dying. Not after he’d just patched himself up from the last one; from Paul. 

“Come on.” He muttered to himself, slapping his cheeks to stop the thoughts, and the tears. This was not the time. Ben checked himself over once more, Callum’s knife hidden in his pocket, his gun down the back of his jeans. He stared at himself in the mirror, clenching his jaw as he took a deep breath to calm himself before climbing out of the car. 

It hurt, knowing that Jay and Lola were also in this building. On a different floor in their own fight for survival but he couldn’t worry about that. It was the plan. Jay comes for Lola, he comes for Callum. 

All he could do was stick to the plan.

Marching forward, he pushed the door open before looking at the tracker to locate the room - Callum reduced to nothing more than a blinking dot, flashing brightly, mocking him.

Taking two quick deep breaths, Ben fixed his coat. He dropped his phone back into his pocket as he cleared his throat and politely knocked on the door. 

He waited. And waited some more because Ben Mitchell was nothing if he wasn’t patient before he was kicking the door in. 

What he found, wasn’t what he expected. He’d been hoping to find Callum, preferably unharmed and waiting for him. In front of him, however, was just Bill. With a bottle of beer and a grin on his face.

“You made it.” He smirked, pushing the beer across the table in Ben’s direction. 

Stepping into the room, hands in his long coat pockets, Ben stood on the other side of the table. “Seems like you were expecting me.” He commented, picking up the beer to read the label, feigning interest. “Bit cheap, ain’t it? Thought you’d have better taste than that.”

“What gave you that impression?” Bill responded as he leaned back against the chair, folding his arms across his chest. “The abandoned building? Or the high-end printing service I used to get you those pictures of your family?”

Tongue swiping across his bottom lip, Ben nodded his head before turning the bottle upside down, the two men watching as the beer poured out onto the floor, bubbles hissing as they hit the ground and dissolved. 

“You’re a brave man, Bill.” Ben gave him a tight smile. “Threatening my family like that.”

“Says the man who killed my brother.”

Throwing the bottle against the side wall in a moment of anger, the green glass shattering across the floor, Ben stepped closer to Bill, leaning over him. “You know why I killed him? I killed him because he murdered my boyfriend, my family. So what makes you think, in that thick skill of yours,” He hissed, forefinger pressing Bill’s forehead. “That you ain’t gonna end up in the same position, six feet under?”

“My brother, God rest his soul, was not me.” Bill cleared his throat, knocking Ben’s hand away from his head. “Yes, we looked the same, were raised the same. But, we are very much different.”

“Were.” Ben corrected with a sickly sweet smile. “You were different - but you won’t be for long. You’ll be joining him soon - well, what’s left of him. I doubt he’s very recognisable now.” He pulled a face, shrugging his shoulders.

“You killed him!” Bill snapped, pulling himself out of the chair. “You killed my brother and you think you can get away with it! You think you’re some high all mighty man, but you ain’t. You’re a coward who doesn’t deserve anything that he has! So that’s why I’m taking it from you. And when I’ve finished with the rest of them, I’m going to cut your fucking heart out.” He hissed, spit hitting Ben in the face. 

“That,” Ben cleared his throat, taking a step back. “Would be scary, truly,” He gave the man a sarcastic grin, holding his hand up. “It’s just, well, I ain’t got one, have I?” 

“Oh, really, Ben Mitchell, the family man - not having a heart? You’re a fucking joke. Bring him out!” He called out over his shoulder, wide grin on his face as he watched Ben’s, waiting for his reaction. 

Ben knew what was happening. He knew that it was Callum - probably cut and bleeding, in pain and hurting. This was part of the plan after all. That didn’t mean he could face him, he couldn’t turn around. 

“Does he not have your heart?” Bill smirked, long knife glinting tauntingly in the sunlight peeking through the window as he took it from underneath the table. “Perhaps you’re right. You don’t have one. But only because you’ve gave it to him. I’ve been watching you for weeks. On your dates - just like tonight. You don’t fool me; you love him. And when he’s dead, it’ll be his blood on your hands.”

Forcing out the false laugh, Ben shook his head. “You have no idea, do you?” He stalked over to Callum, taking a fistful of his hair and pulling his head back, neck stretched. “You think he has my heart? Him? At least give me some credit.” He scoffed, pushing Callum forward as he let go of him. Ignoring the grunt of pain that his boyfriend let out, Ben clenched his jaw. “I don’t love him and I don’t need him. Just something to pass the time, aint it?”

“I know what you’re doing.” Bill raised his eyebrows, clearly unamused at the act Ben was displaying. It didn’t calm Ben’s nerves. He was banking on this to work. This was all they had. If it didn’t work - well, that didn’t bear thinking about. “You think that if you pretend, I’ll let him go.”

Ben turned his mouth up as he shrugged. “Go on, then.” He challenged, grabbing a handful of Callum’s jacket to pull him to his feet, the taller man complying even if he did groan out in pain. “What are you going to do, cut him? Shoot him? Hand it over and I’ll do it myself.”

He held his breath as he waited for Bill’s next move, hands digging into the back of Callum’s jacket. He didn’t know what he was looking for from Callum, a sign to tell him he was okay, that he wasn’t repulsed by Ben now. 

But he knew Callum couldn’t - they’d agreed. One small move, a look, and they wouldn’t make it out of this alive. Either of them. 

The two of them watched on with baited breath as Bill stepped over to the two men in the doorway - the muscle of the operation - a heated discussion going on under their breaths. It gave Ben the brief opportunity to brush his hand against Callum’s. 

He didn’t deserve it - Callum’s kindness. His understanding or his...love. He’d never understand why Callum had chosen to give it to him, what he saw in Ben. 

“Now.” The older man whispered over his shoulder. “They ain’t got guns, the muscleheads. You shot him, I’ll take the other two.” 

“I-,” Ben started, even if his actions betrayed him as he pulled out the knife he’d kept for Callum, pressing the handle into his hand for him to grab. He knew they’d strip Callum as soon as they’d took him - he was just lucky they hadn’t found the tracker tucked under his collar. 

“Oi! What are you two chatting about?!” Bill shouted, vein in his forehead popping. “I thought you ain’t mates, huh? You’re a liar!”

“Ben, now!” Callum shouted as the older man swiped for the knife on the table, swinging for Ben who stuttered backwards, long blade just nicking the skin across his chest. 

He gasped for breath, from both the shock of everything turning south and the stinging of his skin, blood sticking to his clothes. Pulling out the gun from his jeans, he focused on the man in front of him. Ben wanted, more than anything, to be able to see Callum. To know he was doing okay. He couldn’t even begin to think about Jay and Lola, or Lexi at home. Whether she was safe. A moment’s distraction could leave them all dead, there was no way he was taking that risk. 

Switching off his emotions, something he’d mastered over the years, Ben scrambled into action. Blocking another swing from the crazy man in front of him, Ben flicked the safety off of the gun, squeezing the trigger, barrel pressed firmly against Bill’s chest.

Except, nothing happened. 

Allowing himself the briefest of glances as he squeezed the trigger once more, Ben shouted out a curse word. Trust the gun to jam now of all times.

The two men stared at each other for a moment - Bill, having thought those were his last seconds on earth, now with a wide grin on his face at the turn of the tables. 

Ben didn’t let himself panic. He couldn’t afford to. Throwing the gun across the room, the sharp scratch of the metal skimming across the floor echoing around the abandoned building. 

“Guess it’s time to find out if you do have a heart, after all.” Bill smirked, breath bad as he spoke in Ben’s face, twirling the knife in his hand. 

“You know in the movies, when the bad guy starts talking?” Ben sniffed, taking a step back. “That’s usually when it goes wrong for them.” He retorted before kicking the man in the chest with the flat of his foot.

Ben watched as he stumbled backwards, knife clattering down onto the floor. Stalking forwards in advance, Ben took his chances by landing a punch to his jaw. It was pretty obvious that Bill wasn’t the one who did the heavy duty work, not with the way he was splayed across the floor from the single punch.

Grabbing the knife from the floor as he walked past, Ben made his way over to Bill, landing a forceful kick to his ribs.

“What you don’t understand,” Ben hissed to him, blade of the knife pressed against his jugular. “Is that you don’t mess with my family. I thought you got the message last time when your dead twin turned up at your doorstep in pieces. Clearly not. So now I’m going to do the same to you.” 

Eyes black, Ben dragged the knife across his skin, blood seeping out of the fresh wound as he cried out in agony. “You ain’t gonna beg? Your brother did. Begged for hours, ‘please don’t, I’ll do anything. I didn’t mean to kill him, I didn’t want go, please don’t hurt me, I have a family.’” He mimicked, foot resting on his chest as he peered down at Bill. “What about Paul’s family, huh? What about my family?!” Ben shouted before taking a breath to calm himself down.

“Coming for me? I’d understand. Fuck, I’d even welcome it. Callum? Low blow but I might have let you beg. But my daughter?” Ben made several tutting noises, foot pressing down and crushing his windpipe. “That was very naughty of you.”

Gasping for oxygen, Bill clawed at Ben’s ankle, trying to find any energy to pull him off as a grin pulled at the corner of his lips. “Y-You don’t,” He choked out, voice barely a whisper. “You should...try l-looking after them b-better.”

“Why would I take advice from a dead man?” Ben spat, staring down at the man spread across the floor. The man who had caused so much pain over the last few months. Who had hurt Callum, broken his bones. Who had stalked and photographed his precious daughter, who marked her for death. 

He didn’t care - didn’t feel anything - as he watched the life drain from his eyes. He watched them roll back into his head as his body jerked before stilling. Arm flopping down onto the floor next to him, Ben didn’t let up the pressure.

If anything, he applied more. He wouldn’t say he loved killing - of course not, he didn’t want that for himself nor his family - but this one. This one he did. 

“Ben!” Callum’s voice called out as he rushed over to the shorter man. “Ben, Ben, he’s dead.” He repeated, pulling him off of the lifeless body.

Blinking himself back into the room, Ben managed to drag his eyes away from the limpless body that was Bill and up to his boyfriend. His boyfriend who was, once again, covered in dark bruises and blood trickling down his face. 

“Callum.” He whispered, reaching up with a shaky hand to wipe across a cut on his cheek, blood smearing. “Is it done?”

“They’re dead.” Callum promised, tightening the grip he had on Ben’s biceps. “It’s done.”

Giving a slight nod of the head, Ben swallowed thickly. “We need to burn them. I’ve got petrol in the car, just-,”

“Stop for a second.” ordered Callum, reaching up to cup Ben’s flushed cheeks. “Look at me.” He leaned down to press their foreheads together. “I love you.”

“Cal-,”

“No.” Callum muttered. “I’m in love with you. And sure, maybe this ain’t the right time. Covered in blood, in a dodgy building. But, I-, with you, this life. There is never a perfect time. We don’t know what could happen today. Tomorrow. So I’m telling you now, while there’s still breath in my lungs. I’m in love with you, Ben Mitchell.”

Blinking back the tears, Ben couldn’t help the huff of breath that escaped as he grinned. “God you’re a fuckin’ sap.” He leaned up to press their lips firmly together, tears finally escaping from his eyes. “How am I meant to be murderous when you’re making me cry?”

“It highlights the crazy in your eyes, don’t worry.” Callum grinned fondly, swiping his blood-stained thumb across Ben’s cheek to catch the tears. “You, uh, have anything else to say?” He asked hesitantly, nerves hidden the best he could but the way his eyes were darting around the room made it obvious. 

“No.” Ben shrugged, curling his hand into the front of Callum’s shirt. “I don’t...think so?” His grin widened. “I’m joking, come here you muppet.” 

Callum grinned in relief, hand cupping the back of Ben’s head as he reconnected their lips.

“I love you, too.” He whispered against Callum’s lips, arms curling around his waist. “I ain’t got a big speech like you had - did you write that down, by the way? But I just, I love you. So much.”

“Nice to see you two are helping.”

Both of their heads snapped in the direction of the doorway, wide grin on their faces as they saw Jay - with Lola - stood there, looking worse for wear, but more importantly - alive. 

“You’re ruining the moment, dickhead.” Ben grinned, stepping over to the two of them and pulling them into a hug. “You okay?” He murmured.

“A lot better than the other guys, that’s for sure.” Lola responded, own wide smile on her face as she pecked Ben’s cheek. “Are you?”

“We’re fine.” Callum spoke up. 

“The car’s outside.” Ben told them. “Just need to get the petrol and clean up.”

And it was simple. That would all it would take. Burn the bodies, leave no evidence and it would okay. Everyone was safe and alive. Ben couldn’t believe it, if he was honest. They’d made it out of the other side. And of course, there’d be downfalls and more troubles to come. 

It came with this lifestyle. But he had family now. A real family. Someone to hold him at night when things didn’t go quite right; to pull him back when his finger hovered over the self-destruct button. Someone who loved him. 

Loved him, Ben Mitchell. 

And not just anyone - Callum. Callum with his good heart and positive attitude who just...got him. That, that was pretty special. There had been so many people he’d lost in life. So many that didn’t understand him. 

But so few had he loved as ferociously as he did Callum. In fact, there was only two. Him and Paul. 

Ben had made mistakes. He was young. Naive. He could’ve done things differently when it came to Paul. 

He had age and experience on his side this time. He knew he could have handled it differently but yet - the situation would’ve still led to the same outcome. That was out of his control. It took time but he could admit that now. 

And while he could never forget, nor replace, Paul, he had Callum. He’d grown as a person and he knew what not to do again. What mistakes to never trip up on. He’d learned that family meant everything - and keeping them closer was better. That decisions as a group would always be best.

He couldn’t always rely on a flip of a coin to decide their fate. But he was thankful it had chose Callum.

—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINISHED - can't believe I actually managed to finish something for once in my life. Thank you so much for all the support and the comments on this fic it means the world!!!


End file.
